1. Madison Rayne v. Velvet Skye - 3 out of 5
2. Matt Morgan v. Crimson - 2 out of 5
3. Jeff Hardy v. Ken Anderson - 2 out of 5
4. Bully Ray & Bobby Roode v. James Storm & Austin Aries - 4 out of 5
As you can see from the short list, it was a light wrestling night on TNA. There's a lot of story building to do at this point between pay-per-views, and of course we had to deal with the whole, "Is Hogan GM of Impact?" thing.
I think the bottom of the story-telling ladder, really, would have to be Matt Morgan and Crimson. The match was announced, later there was a video package detailing their journey, and then their introductions were interrupted by Austin Aries before they were allowed to put on another terrible match. It started during the commercial (because they couldn't wait to get their hands on each other), and it ended in a double count-out (because they couldn't stop putting their hands on each other). Christy Hemme announced, "There is no winner" and that was more accurate than she realized.
Next we have Kurt Angle and Jeff Hardy. Kurt Angle cut a promo backstage saying that hell, no he wasn't going to give Jeff Hardy a rematch at Lockdown, because Jeff Hardy was a crybaby. Then he turned around and said that if Hardy beat Mr. Anderson tonight, he would face him at Lockdown. I missed the beginning of this match, but it was another low point on the card, which ended in Kurt Angle sneaking in and incapacitating Hardy so that Anderson could pick up the win. I don't know if there's anything they can do to save this angle for me, but if there is, they need to do it, like, yesterday.
ODB and Eric Young saw a wedding planner, briefly, until ODB kicked her out. She's decided that their wedding is going to be inside a steel cage. I am A-OK with that.
Eric Bischoff called his son into the ring for one final challenge. Turns out that final challenge is to face off against Gunner in a steel cage at Lockdown... unless of course, Garrett would like to just go ahead and walk away now. Screw you, dad. I hate you.
Madison Rayne and Gail Kim made up backstage, Madison got a new crown to wear, and then Velvet Sky beat her in their match. Afterwards, she put Gail and the rest of the Knockouts on alert that she's got her eye squarely on that title, and she's not going to rest till she gets it. The acting could have used a little work, but Velvet was fucking fired up, which is nice to see.
The show started with a talking segment from Bobby Roode that ended with first James Storm and then Bully Ray showing up, and James Storm challenging them to a handicap match. Bully and Bobby of course felt that they could take him, so they accepted. Remember how I said Aries interrupted the introductions for the Crimson/Morgan match? He did that to let Bully Ray know that they now have a problem, and to proposition James Storm into letting him be his tag team partner. Yeah, it looks like Aries just turned face. During the main event tag team match, Aries was awesome, and the fight looked to be more or less even (with Aries more than making up with speed what he lacks in size). Bobby Roode was going to spit some beer into Storm's face, but missed and hit Bully instead, and then PUSHED Bully into Storm's superkick. I am very okay with A Double being in my main event. If this was a test from management, I think he passed it with flying colors. More Aries on my television can only be a good thing.
And then... Hogan. We saw a pre-taped video of Dixie begging Hogan to accept the job, and Hogan being very hesitant. Hogan apparently felt he was done with wrestling (yeah, right). At the end of the night, Dixie demanded an answer from Hogan in the ring. Hogan still tried to say no, until Sting showed up with half the locker room, and told him it was his destiny. Hogan finally accepted after confirming that Sting is his BFF. You know what? I'm not gonna hate on it yet. Yeah, I know we're all sick of Hogan and all his drama and bullshit. But you know he's gonna be around forever. If he's gonna be around, I'd rather see him as a personal manager to one or more of the wrestlers. But General Manager of the show, I think I'm going to give a chance. Even though it makes no sense. Even though Hogan can never, ever, ever be fully trusted again. Even though this is probably going to end badly eventually. I want to give it a shot, on the off-chance that this is Hogan's way of saving the tail-end of his career, because he knows his television days could be numbered.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Raw 3-26-12
1. Daniel Bryan & Kane v. Sheamus & Randy Orton - 3 out of 5
2. Santino Marella v. David Otunga - 2 out of 5
3. Kelly Kelly v. Eve - 2 out of 5
4. CM Punk v. Christian - N/A
5. Brodus Clay v. Curt Hawkins - 3 out of 5
6. Big Show v. Primo - 1 out of 5
7. Mark Henry v. The Great Khali - 2 out of 5
Unfortunately, Raw did not deliver quite as well as Smackdown did. There were some really great points, however. CM Punk completely losing his shit comes to mind. But a lot of the show was stuff I could have done without seeing.
I get the WrestleMania preview matches. I get it, I do. And I would complain about the Team Teddy/Team Johnny matches being uneven, except the whole damn match is uneven. Teddy has chosen a team of fucking comedians, while Johnny has systematically assembled a goddamn wrecking crew. It's like if you advertised a war between Sith and Jedi, and then instead of Jedi, you just sent in a group of Gungans, and then Watto comes buzzing in behind them with a flag that says, "WEESA NO LIKE YOU". They keep impressing on us that Johnny has four former world champions on their team. Now that Teddy has picked up Booker T, he has two. Let's face it, the guy has picked his team on the basis of who can make funnier backstage segments. Would anyone in their right mind ever really pick Khali? The man is the World's Largest Jobber, and he gets in on the merit of being able to wear a head band and say, "Woo woo woo, you know it." And he's one of the former champions. Shame.
I was gonna say more about the GMs, but I'm gonna save it for my WrestleMania Preview post in a couple of days.
Moving on, the Divas gave us a preview match as well. Eve, from what we get to see, seems to have actually improved a bit in the ring. Maybe it's just her heel turn giving us a more aggressive, bitchy Eve. But it made Kelly look just that much worse. Eve did what would have been a beautiful moonsault off the top rope (not that horrendous "pop-pop" standing one she did as a face, thank goodness), and used almost an entire five-count choking Kelly. Kelly gave us the same old contributions we don't want to see anymore, and... was she actually yelling, "Boom! Boom!" while hitting Eve in the corner? The highlight of this match was Beth Phoenix yelling at Kelly in the middle of the match, "Apologize to her!" for starting a Hoeski chant before the girls locked up.
Show v. Primo was pointless, other than to remind us that there are still tag team belts (but nobody knows why), and to give Rosa Mendes a chance to continue to dance badly. Oh, yeah, and Big Show has a match at WrestleMania against Cody Rhodes. If he wants to warm up for that match, he could do batter than beating up on poor defenseless Primo, surely.
WWE played the cruelest trick on us yet this week, by announcing a match between CM Punk and Christian. I'm sure we all went, "Oooh!" when we heard that. It's not the same tired stuff, they both have matches to get ready for, and they're both top competitors who can put on an excellent match. We should have known it was too good to be true. The match never really happened, though. Chris Jericho came over the Titantron to taunt Punk once again, and when that was over, Punk when apeshit and totally destroyed Christian. Security had to tear him away from the Anaconda Vice he had locked in, and we had to be told, "Hey, Christian just re-injured his neck, so no more WrestleMania for him."
But now we've got Drew Mac on Team Johnny, so that's something, right?
2. Santino Marella v. David Otunga - 2 out of 5
3. Kelly Kelly v. Eve - 2 out of 5
4. CM Punk v. Christian - N/A
5. Brodus Clay v. Curt Hawkins - 3 out of 5
6. Big Show v. Primo - 1 out of 5
7. Mark Henry v. The Great Khali - 2 out of 5
Unfortunately, Raw did not deliver quite as well as Smackdown did. There were some really great points, however. CM Punk completely losing his shit comes to mind. But a lot of the show was stuff I could have done without seeing.
I get the WrestleMania preview matches. I get it, I do. And I would complain about the Team Teddy/Team Johnny matches being uneven, except the whole damn match is uneven. Teddy has chosen a team of fucking comedians, while Johnny has systematically assembled a goddamn wrecking crew. It's like if you advertised a war between Sith and Jedi, and then instead of Jedi, you just sent in a group of Gungans, and then Watto comes buzzing in behind them with a flag that says, "WEESA NO LIKE YOU". They keep impressing on us that Johnny has four former world champions on their team. Now that Teddy has picked up Booker T, he has two. Let's face it, the guy has picked his team on the basis of who can make funnier backstage segments. Would anyone in their right mind ever really pick Khali? The man is the World's Largest Jobber, and he gets in on the merit of being able to wear a head band and say, "Woo woo woo, you know it." And he's one of the former champions. Shame.
I was gonna say more about the GMs, but I'm gonna save it for my WrestleMania Preview post in a couple of days.
Moving on, the Divas gave us a preview match as well. Eve, from what we get to see, seems to have actually improved a bit in the ring. Maybe it's just her heel turn giving us a more aggressive, bitchy Eve. But it made Kelly look just that much worse. Eve did what would have been a beautiful moonsault off the top rope (not that horrendous "pop-pop" standing one she did as a face, thank goodness), and used almost an entire five-count choking Kelly. Kelly gave us the same old contributions we don't want to see anymore, and... was she actually yelling, "Boom! Boom!" while hitting Eve in the corner? The highlight of this match was Beth Phoenix yelling at Kelly in the middle of the match, "Apologize to her!" for starting a Hoeski chant before the girls locked up.
Show v. Primo was pointless, other than to remind us that there are still tag team belts (but nobody knows why), and to give Rosa Mendes a chance to continue to dance badly. Oh, yeah, and Big Show has a match at WrestleMania against Cody Rhodes. If he wants to warm up for that match, he could do batter than beating up on poor defenseless Primo, surely.
WWE played the cruelest trick on us yet this week, by announcing a match between CM Punk and Christian. I'm sure we all went, "Oooh!" when we heard that. It's not the same tired stuff, they both have matches to get ready for, and they're both top competitors who can put on an excellent match. We should have known it was too good to be true. The match never really happened, though. Chris Jericho came over the Titantron to taunt Punk once again, and when that was over, Punk when apeshit and totally destroyed Christian. Security had to tear him away from the Anaconda Vice he had locked in, and we had to be told, "Hey, Christian just re-injured his neck, so no more WrestleMania for him."
But now we've got Drew Mac on Team Johnny, so that's something, right?
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Smackdown 3-23-12
1. Mark Henry v. R-Truth - 4 out of 5
2. AJ v. Brie Bella - 3 out of 5
3. Zack Ryder v. Jack Swagger - 4 out of 5
4. Big Show v. Kane - 2 out of 5
5. Brodus Clay v. Heath Slater - 3 out of 5
6. The Great Khali v. Dolph Ziggler - 4 out of 5
7. CM Punk & Sheamus v. Daniel Bryan & The Miz - 4 out of 5
Here's the big thing I want to say about Smackdown this week: I really, really hope that the writers can keep this momentum rolling through next week. There's only one week to go before the Greatest Show on Earth, and this show really felt like a pay-per-view build-up. I almost feel like most of this show should have been saved for next Friday, but we'll just have to wait and see what they give us on the last show of the wrestling year.
At the very least, the performers seem to be feeling the excitement of an upcoming WrestleMania. I didn't expect as good a match as we got from Zack Ryder and Jack Swagger, but those boys threw down, just like they were supposed to. Dolph Ziggler sold the shit out of Khali to the point that he made the big man actually look entertaining. Almost everything in this show was the higher-quality product that we should be seeing from the company at this time of the year.
I want to call special attention to AJ's improvement. I've always liked her. She's adorable, she's got great energy, and I think she could very well be the future of the Divas division in WWE. But when she was paired up with Daniel Bryan, there was something that wasn't clicking for me. What I finally realized is that her arms were dead weight, and she just kind of stood around looking awkward no matter what was happening. She must have got some ring-side tips, because now she behaves the way a ring girlfriend should. She's right up at the apron. She calls out to Daniel when he's in the ring. She shows emotion and worry when he's getting tossed around. She grins and gets excited, and applauds him when he's hoisted himself into the corner after a win.
Here's hoping this week rises to this bar.
2. AJ v. Brie Bella - 3 out of 5
3. Zack Ryder v. Jack Swagger - 4 out of 5
4. Big Show v. Kane - 2 out of 5
5. Brodus Clay v. Heath Slater - 3 out of 5
6. The Great Khali v. Dolph Ziggler - 4 out of 5
7. CM Punk & Sheamus v. Daniel Bryan & The Miz - 4 out of 5
Here's the big thing I want to say about Smackdown this week: I really, really hope that the writers can keep this momentum rolling through next week. There's only one week to go before the Greatest Show on Earth, and this show really felt like a pay-per-view build-up. I almost feel like most of this show should have been saved for next Friday, but we'll just have to wait and see what they give us on the last show of the wrestling year.
At the very least, the performers seem to be feeling the excitement of an upcoming WrestleMania. I didn't expect as good a match as we got from Zack Ryder and Jack Swagger, but those boys threw down, just like they were supposed to. Dolph Ziggler sold the shit out of Khali to the point that he made the big man actually look entertaining. Almost everything in this show was the higher-quality product that we should be seeing from the company at this time of the year.
I want to call special attention to AJ's improvement. I've always liked her. She's adorable, she's got great energy, and I think she could very well be the future of the Divas division in WWE. But when she was paired up with Daniel Bryan, there was something that wasn't clicking for me. What I finally realized is that her arms were dead weight, and she just kind of stood around looking awkward no matter what was happening. She must have got some ring-side tips, because now she behaves the way a ring girlfriend should. She's right up at the apron. She calls out to Daniel when he's in the ring. She shows emotion and worry when he's getting tossed around. She grins and gets excited, and applauds him when he's hoisted himself into the corner after a win.
Here's hoping this week rises to this bar.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Impact 3-22-12
Girls Watch Wrestling will be going to a live event on Saturday! This is immediately after I get home from work, so I will not have time tomorrow to update with my Smackdown review. Instead, look for it on Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! In the meantime, enjoy TNA:
1. Austin Aries v. Zema Ion v. Kid Kash v. Anthony Neese (X-Division Championship) - 3 out of 5
2. Mexican America v. Eric Young & ODB (Knockouts Tag Championship) - 3 out of 5
3. Garrett Bischoff v. Kurt Angle (3-minute challenge) - 1 out of 5
4. Mexican America v. Samoa Joe & Magnus (Tag Team Championship) - 4 out of 5
5. Christopher Daniels & Kazarian v. James Storm - 2 out of 5
This week was the first Impact after Victory Road, and it really felt like what a post-pay-per-view show should be, for the most part. We've got the March show under our belts now, and it's time to start building to Lockdown, which generally means getting on with it in many cases. Of course, the biggest development last night came in the form of Sting losing his goddamn mind. Again. This is not in a "I'm gonna slap on some half-assed face paint and quote the Wizard of Oz because Al Snow is in that Witches of Oz thing and our next show happens to have the word 'road' in it" kind of way. This was in a "I suck at history" kind of way.
My boyfriend tells me that there is a Sting career flow chart somewhere, and it's just a circle. Sting trusts a guy, guy betrays Sting, Sting and guy have a match. Wash, rinse, repeat. If I had watched Sting's career over the years, maybe the next step wouldn't have come as quite a headbanger, but as it is, I'm left going, "THAT DOESN'T MAKING ANY FLIPPING SENSE!!"
Sting doesn't want Dixie to fire Bobby Roode. Sting wants Dixie to let James Storm punish him. Also, Sting feels that he can't half-ass either aspects of his job, so he has to choose between GM or Wrestler. He chose wrestler. He also suggested a replacement for himself. His reasoning for wanting Hogan to take over amounted to, "I've known the guy for 20 years." Are you kidding me? That should be your prime reason to NOT trust the guy! Didn't Sting just go through Flair to get to Hogan to return control of the company back to Dixie?
For her part, however, Dixie was reasonably hesitant. The suggestion shocked her at the beginning of the show, but then she had a whole two hours to think about it, and she decided that she trusts Sting's judgement. You know something Dixie? You might be the only one. Sting is apparently a horrible judge of character.
The worst part about all this? The show ended before we got an answer from Hogan. Which means he's gonna kick us off next week.
In other news, both halves of Mexican America tried and failed to win Tag Team Championships in order to get the money to keep their car from being towed. In the end, not only was the car repossessed, so were the girls. Whaaaa...? And then Kurt Angle got mad when he realized that Garrett Bischoff won the 5-minute challenge last week, so instead of doing the logical thing and making him last longer, he takes it down to a 3-minute challenge. I was confused about that, but then it all made sense when Gunner showed up and helped Angle kick the shit out of Baby Bisch.
But hey, ODB and EY are getting married. So, there's that.
1. Austin Aries v. Zema Ion v. Kid Kash v. Anthony Neese (X-Division Championship) - 3 out of 5
2. Mexican America v. Eric Young & ODB (Knockouts Tag Championship) - 3 out of 5
3. Garrett Bischoff v. Kurt Angle (3-minute challenge) - 1 out of 5
4. Mexican America v. Samoa Joe & Magnus (Tag Team Championship) - 4 out of 5
5. Christopher Daniels & Kazarian v. James Storm - 2 out of 5
This week was the first Impact after Victory Road, and it really felt like what a post-pay-per-view show should be, for the most part. We've got the March show under our belts now, and it's time to start building to Lockdown, which generally means getting on with it in many cases. Of course, the biggest development last night came in the form of Sting losing his goddamn mind. Again. This is not in a "I'm gonna slap on some half-assed face paint and quote the Wizard of Oz because Al Snow is in that Witches of Oz thing and our next show happens to have the word 'road' in it" kind of way. This was in a "I suck at history" kind of way.
My boyfriend tells me that there is a Sting career flow chart somewhere, and it's just a circle. Sting trusts a guy, guy betrays Sting, Sting and guy have a match. Wash, rinse, repeat. If I had watched Sting's career over the years, maybe the next step wouldn't have come as quite a headbanger, but as it is, I'm left going, "THAT DOESN'T MAKING ANY FLIPPING SENSE!!"
Sting doesn't want Dixie to fire Bobby Roode. Sting wants Dixie to let James Storm punish him. Also, Sting feels that he can't half-ass either aspects of his job, so he has to choose between GM or Wrestler. He chose wrestler. He also suggested a replacement for himself. His reasoning for wanting Hogan to take over amounted to, "I've known the guy for 20 years." Are you kidding me? That should be your prime reason to NOT trust the guy! Didn't Sting just go through Flair to get to Hogan to return control of the company back to Dixie?
For her part, however, Dixie was reasonably hesitant. The suggestion shocked her at the beginning of the show, but then she had a whole two hours to think about it, and she decided that she trusts Sting's judgement. You know something Dixie? You might be the only one. Sting is apparently a horrible judge of character.
The worst part about all this? The show ended before we got an answer from Hogan. Which means he's gonna kick us off next week.
In other news, both halves of Mexican America tried and failed to win Tag Team Championships in order to get the money to keep their car from being towed. In the end, not only was the car repossessed, so were the girls. Whaaaa...? And then Kurt Angle got mad when he realized that Garrett Bischoff won the 5-minute challenge last week, so instead of doing the logical thing and making him last longer, he takes it down to a 3-minute challenge. I was confused about that, but then it all made sense when Gunner showed up and helped Angle kick the shit out of Baby Bisch.
But hey, ODB and EY are getting married. So, there's that.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Raw 3-19-12
Matches:
1. Kane v. Big Show - 2 out of 5
2. David Otunga v. Santino Marella - 2 out of 5
3. Daniel Bryan v. Zack Ryder - 3 out of 5
4. John Cena v. Mark Henry - 4 out of 5
5. Sheamus v. Miz - 4 out of 5
6. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger v. R-Truth & Kofi Kingston - 2 out of 5
The first hour of Raw was entertainment-heavy. What I mean by that is that the matches were sub-par and all three were supplemented by non-wrestling extras. Cody Rhodes wore boxing gloves at ringside for Big Show's match, and afterwards handcuffed him to the ring and beat him silly. Otunga and Santino had a pose-off before the actually got their match started. And before Ryder's match, we were treated to a video package of Ryder's parking lot Rally to try to get himself to WrestleMania.
The next quarter of Raw was the part devoted to matches that were better than I was expecting them to be. It's nice to see Mark Henry still look so dominating during the better portion of his match, but I'd like to see him back in a program with someone and destroying the rest of the roster on a regular basis. His injury really derailed his push, and I'm hoping that he gets back on track sometime, and soon, before he's lost too much momentum. Meanwhile, WWE continues to struggle in finding a place for Miz. With the disintegration of the brand extension, perhaps a program with Cody Rhodes after Mania? I don't know. I just don't want to see him lost in the cracks. Maybe they'll just give up and release him, and he can go over to TNA where he can just start taking over.
And then there was the final quarter of Raw and the run-over. What a crapfest. There was a tag match to end the actual wrestling portion of the show, but I doubt anybody noticed because Aksana and Vickie were so busy tearing into each other. This was something I really didn't need to see. Afterwards, there was a promo that I didn't bother to watch between the Undertaker, Triple H, and Shawn Michaels.
I don't know if it says something about the company, or something about our growth as fans, that for the first time, Mehe and I are looking forward to the undercard of WrestleMania this year more than we are the top billings. Now, that being said, Punk/Jericho should be an absolute brawl. This week, Jericho semi-sincerely apologized for revealing Punk's dad's alcoholism to the world. But then he smiled mischievously and added that Punk's sister is a drug addict. Punk got angry and got censored when he basically told Jericho that he's gonna beat the shit out of him on April 1st. If you are looking for the best-built feud on the card this year, this is the match. This is the match that should be ending the show (with Rock/Cena being between the championship matches). Instead, it once again feels like WWE should be teaching a class called "Backwards Booking 101."
1. Kane v. Big Show - 2 out of 5
2. David Otunga v. Santino Marella - 2 out of 5
3. Daniel Bryan v. Zack Ryder - 3 out of 5
4. John Cena v. Mark Henry - 4 out of 5
5. Sheamus v. Miz - 4 out of 5
6. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger v. R-Truth & Kofi Kingston - 2 out of 5
The first hour of Raw was entertainment-heavy. What I mean by that is that the matches were sub-par and all three were supplemented by non-wrestling extras. Cody Rhodes wore boxing gloves at ringside for Big Show's match, and afterwards handcuffed him to the ring and beat him silly. Otunga and Santino had a pose-off before the actually got their match started. And before Ryder's match, we were treated to a video package of Ryder's parking lot Rally to try to get himself to WrestleMania.
The next quarter of Raw was the part devoted to matches that were better than I was expecting them to be. It's nice to see Mark Henry still look so dominating during the better portion of his match, but I'd like to see him back in a program with someone and destroying the rest of the roster on a regular basis. His injury really derailed his push, and I'm hoping that he gets back on track sometime, and soon, before he's lost too much momentum. Meanwhile, WWE continues to struggle in finding a place for Miz. With the disintegration of the brand extension, perhaps a program with Cody Rhodes after Mania? I don't know. I just don't want to see him lost in the cracks. Maybe they'll just give up and release him, and he can go over to TNA where he can just start taking over.
And then there was the final quarter of Raw and the run-over. What a crapfest. There was a tag match to end the actual wrestling portion of the show, but I doubt anybody noticed because Aksana and Vickie were so busy tearing into each other. This was something I really didn't need to see. Afterwards, there was a promo that I didn't bother to watch between the Undertaker, Triple H, and Shawn Michaels.
I don't know if it says something about the company, or something about our growth as fans, that for the first time, Mehe and I are looking forward to the undercard of WrestleMania this year more than we are the top billings. Now, that being said, Punk/Jericho should be an absolute brawl. This week, Jericho semi-sincerely apologized for revealing Punk's dad's alcoholism to the world. But then he smiled mischievously and added that Punk's sister is a drug addict. Punk got angry and got censored when he basically told Jericho that he's gonna beat the shit out of him on April 1st. If you are looking for the best-built feud on the card this year, this is the match. This is the match that should be ending the show (with Rock/Cena being between the championship matches). Instead, it once again feels like WWE should be teaching a class called "Backwards Booking 101."
Monday, March 19, 2012
TNA Victory Road
Victory Road 2012 came and went last night... and it wasn't terrible. TNA has been growing on my a LOT lately, and I really like a lot of things about the way they do their pay-per-views now. The generic show music is growing on me. Somehow, not having a band you know is raking in millions playing a well-known song at you all the time makes the product feel more pure to me. I like the video packages they showed highlighting the important points to the story. I like the pre-match title cards that make every match sound important. Heck, I was even enjoying the announce team cutting loose and having a bit of fun with each other. So, TNA has quite a few things going right for them in my book. Let's break down the individual matches now and see how they fared.
1. James Storm v. Bully Ray (#1 contender for the Heavyweight Championship) - 2 out of 5. This is the second pay-per-view in a row where the opener has been a #1 contender match of some kind. Bully Ray threatened to hold the whole show hostage if he didn't get a shot at being #1 contender, and James Storm was all too happy to put it up for grabs. Unfortunately, what could have been a really good match only went a little over a minute to end with Storm superkicking Bully. I hate that this is what Bully Ray is doing right now. He's consistently one of the best overall talents the company has to offer, and he deserves the spotlight he's been seeking so heavily since Against All Odds.
2. Austin Aries v. Zema Ion (X-Division Championship) - 4 out of 5. SO many things to like about this match. The fact that Austin Aries exists is a big one. I was happy to see the title retained here, as I don't particularly care for Ion. The kid put on a pretty good performance though, especially considering he was in the ring with The Greatest Man That Ever Lived. Aries had time to lounge, taunt his opponent incessantly, and even live Tweet during this match. And did I mention? He won while blind. Ion hit his hairspray spot, which only served to give Aries a challenge. He seems like the kind of guy who likes a challenge. Far and away this was the best match of the night.
3. Samoa Joe & Magnus v. Crimson & Matt Morgan (Tag Team Championship) - 3 out of 5. Eh. The match itself wasn't terrible, but the Crimson/Morgan breakup story that was happening completely distracted anyone from noticing that there was a match going on. Crimson insisted on being in the match for the entire duration, which infuriated Morgan, and then inevitably Crimson walked away from his partner and left. The drama detracted from the deadly force that is Samoa Joe and Magnus (remember those guys? This is a match about Joe & Magnus). The other problem here is of course that there are no tag teams in TNA at the moment. A promo later on announced the return of the Motorcity Machine Guns, but it just said "Coming Soon", which honestly could mean anything.
4. Devon v. Robbie E. (Television Championship) - 2 out of 5. The good thing to say about this match was that it was as short as it should have been. However, TNA made up that time by having Team Robbies come out and cancel, and then uncancel, and then re-cancel the open challenge. That lasted probably for a good five minutes, during which Robbie E. insulted a variety of fans, hit on SoCal Val, and was generally not funny. Devon showed up and Brian Hebner answered Robbie E.'s protests by declaring the challenge still open and instructing him that this would be a match. Isn't it fun to see refs with so much power? Anyway, that's about all there is to say about that.
5. Gail Kim v. Madison Rayne (Knockouts Championship) - 4 out of 5. This match was a lot better than I was expecting. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I'm certainly not used to seeing Madison Rayne actually use wrestling skills so much as I am seeing her use underhanded heel tactics to get her BFF the win. Madison emphatically stated mid-match that she and Gail weren't friends anymore, which was fairly obvious, but still a nice touch. Gail ended up beating the ever-living hell out of Madison and rolling her up nice and tight, even adjusting her grip during the count to hold on tighter so Madison couldn't get up. After that match, the fallen contender looked genuinely dazed.
6. AJ Styles & Mr. Anderson v. Christopher Daniels & Kazarian - 3 out of 5. Again, eh. At least in this match, the drama of one team wasn't overshadowing the prowess of the other. We've been watching this story develop for a couple of months now. Now that AJ has smoothly pinned Daniels, I think the perfect time has come for a confession. Don't let us down, TNA!
7. Kurt Angle v. Jeff Hardy - 2 out of 5. By the Halls of Valhalla, where to start? The match I cared least about on the card ended up being the one that went the longest. There was nearly 20 minutes worth of these two battling back and forth at each other. Kurt Angle won via rope leverage, but I don't think I would have been very happy with this either way. This just isn't where either of these men need to be right now. I'm not sure what would work for Angle, but Jeff needs to remain with Garrett (who, by the way, was not even mentioned last night). It's his Destiny, man! No? Okay, fine.
8. Bobby Roode v. Sting (Non-title; No Holds Barred) - 3 out of 5. I can't pinpoint exactly what it was that makes me indifferent to this matchup. Maybe it's because I'm new to Sting and don't know how I should feel about him right now. I'm sure if I'd been watching him throughout the 90s, I would have a stronger reaction now to simply his presence here. I can tell you what I did have a strong reaction about: all that bullshit that happened after the match was over. Roode was so ruthless to both Sting and Dixie Carter, it prompted me to muse to Mehe why it is that Dixie doesn't apparently have the authority go fire him. Of course, as soon as I said that, the crowd started chanting "FIRE BOBBY", so I felt pretty satisfied with that.
I'd like to point out here that in both the X-Division Championship match and in the Knockouts Championship match, we had essentially two heels facing each other. In the girls' case, I doubt Madison will still be a heel with Thursday rolls around. But neither Aries nor Ion are converting anytime soon. It's something that's not explored in today's formulaic story-telling. These days you have to have a good guy fighting a bad guy. Always. But by putting the focus on the title, and not on alignment, TNA has found a great way to elevate a guy like Aries. And the crowd can cheer for the better wrestler, and not who they are told they are supposed to like. It's a good dynamic, and a refreshing change from the routine.
1. James Storm v. Bully Ray (#1 contender for the Heavyweight Championship) - 2 out of 5. This is the second pay-per-view in a row where the opener has been a #1 contender match of some kind. Bully Ray threatened to hold the whole show hostage if he didn't get a shot at being #1 contender, and James Storm was all too happy to put it up for grabs. Unfortunately, what could have been a really good match only went a little over a minute to end with Storm superkicking Bully. I hate that this is what Bully Ray is doing right now. He's consistently one of the best overall talents the company has to offer, and he deserves the spotlight he's been seeking so heavily since Against All Odds.
2. Austin Aries v. Zema Ion (X-Division Championship) - 4 out of 5. SO many things to like about this match. The fact that Austin Aries exists is a big one. I was happy to see the title retained here, as I don't particularly care for Ion. The kid put on a pretty good performance though, especially considering he was in the ring with The Greatest Man That Ever Lived. Aries had time to lounge, taunt his opponent incessantly, and even live Tweet during this match. And did I mention? He won while blind. Ion hit his hairspray spot, which only served to give Aries a challenge. He seems like the kind of guy who likes a challenge. Far and away this was the best match of the night.
3. Samoa Joe & Magnus v. Crimson & Matt Morgan (Tag Team Championship) - 3 out of 5. Eh. The match itself wasn't terrible, but the Crimson/Morgan breakup story that was happening completely distracted anyone from noticing that there was a match going on. Crimson insisted on being in the match for the entire duration, which infuriated Morgan, and then inevitably Crimson walked away from his partner and left. The drama detracted from the deadly force that is Samoa Joe and Magnus (remember those guys? This is a match about Joe & Magnus). The other problem here is of course that there are no tag teams in TNA at the moment. A promo later on announced the return of the Motorcity Machine Guns, but it just said "Coming Soon", which honestly could mean anything.
4. Devon v. Robbie E. (Television Championship) - 2 out of 5. The good thing to say about this match was that it was as short as it should have been. However, TNA made up that time by having Team Robbies come out and cancel, and then uncancel, and then re-cancel the open challenge. That lasted probably for a good five minutes, during which Robbie E. insulted a variety of fans, hit on SoCal Val, and was generally not funny. Devon showed up and Brian Hebner answered Robbie E.'s protests by declaring the challenge still open and instructing him that this would be a match. Isn't it fun to see refs with so much power? Anyway, that's about all there is to say about that.
5. Gail Kim v. Madison Rayne (Knockouts Championship) - 4 out of 5. This match was a lot better than I was expecting. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I'm certainly not used to seeing Madison Rayne actually use wrestling skills so much as I am seeing her use underhanded heel tactics to get her BFF the win. Madison emphatically stated mid-match that she and Gail weren't friends anymore, which was fairly obvious, but still a nice touch. Gail ended up beating the ever-living hell out of Madison and rolling her up nice and tight, even adjusting her grip during the count to hold on tighter so Madison couldn't get up. After that match, the fallen contender looked genuinely dazed.
6. AJ Styles & Mr. Anderson v. Christopher Daniels & Kazarian - 3 out of 5. Again, eh. At least in this match, the drama of one team wasn't overshadowing the prowess of the other. We've been watching this story develop for a couple of months now. Now that AJ has smoothly pinned Daniels, I think the perfect time has come for a confession. Don't let us down, TNA!
7. Kurt Angle v. Jeff Hardy - 2 out of 5. By the Halls of Valhalla, where to start? The match I cared least about on the card ended up being the one that went the longest. There was nearly 20 minutes worth of these two battling back and forth at each other. Kurt Angle won via rope leverage, but I don't think I would have been very happy with this either way. This just isn't where either of these men need to be right now. I'm not sure what would work for Angle, but Jeff needs to remain with Garrett (who, by the way, was not even mentioned last night). It's his Destiny, man! No? Okay, fine.
8. Bobby Roode v. Sting (Non-title; No Holds Barred) - 3 out of 5. I can't pinpoint exactly what it was that makes me indifferent to this matchup. Maybe it's because I'm new to Sting and don't know how I should feel about him right now. I'm sure if I'd been watching him throughout the 90s, I would have a stronger reaction now to simply his presence here. I can tell you what I did have a strong reaction about: all that bullshit that happened after the match was over. Roode was so ruthless to both Sting and Dixie Carter, it prompted me to muse to Mehe why it is that Dixie doesn't apparently have the authority go fire him. Of course, as soon as I said that, the crowd started chanting "FIRE BOBBY", so I felt pretty satisfied with that.
I'd like to point out here that in both the X-Division Championship match and in the Knockouts Championship match, we had essentially two heels facing each other. In the girls' case, I doubt Madison will still be a heel with Thursday rolls around. But neither Aries nor Ion are converting anytime soon. It's something that's not explored in today's formulaic story-telling. These days you have to have a good guy fighting a bad guy. Always. But by putting the focus on the title, and not on alignment, TNA has found a great way to elevate a guy like Aries. And the crowd can cheer for the better wrestler, and not who they are told they are supposed to like. It's a good dynamic, and a refreshing change from the routine.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Smackdown 3-16-12
Matches:
1. Kofi Kingston v. David Otunga - 3 out of 5
2. AJ v. Nikki Bella - 4 out of 5
3. Cody Rhodes v. The Great Khali - 3 out of 5
4. Big Show v. Drew McIntyre - 1 out of 5
5. Mark Henry v. Yoshi Tatsu - 2 out of 5
6. Chris Jericho v. Sheamus - 4 out of 5
The road to WrestleMania has been heating up in recent weeks. The GM teams are beginning to flush out now, and on Friday night Christian basically put himself in Johnny Ace's team. Not that Mr. Ace was exactly trying to stop him. Teddy tried to put him in a match, but Laurinaitis told him Christian wasn't cleared, and that led to our first match. The best part here was during the match, with both GMs joining commentary, when Johnny explained that Christian HAD been cleared, but then he got an ingrown toenail. Let's hope there's none of those come April 1. I am very much looking forward to watching Christian kick some ass in the next couple of weeks.
Three, count them THREE big men were in action on this program, and only one of them managed to serve any kind of purpose, and that was the guy we least wanted to see on our television. Big Show and Mark Henry both squashed jobbers, which proves once again that they can beat up guys smaller than them. A special double-this-accomplished-nothing goes to Big Show for beating up Drew McIntyre who has won a single match in the last two months, and that was against a little person. Meanwhile, Khali fell to Cody's disaster kick, which helps begin the resurgence of Cody's quest to make his title mean something. Because it does.
And then there was Daniel Bryan, who has embraced his full-on asshole heel persona. He's such a pig, it's a wonder he lets AJ come out to the ring at all. This week, he bought her a dress that looked better on the mannequin, helped her win her match (and afterwards asserted that if she'd listened to him, it would have gone more smoothly), and then celebrated as though he'd just won at WrestleMania. At the end of the night, he sat ringside for Sheamus' match with Jericho, while AJ stood--STOOD--quietly behind him. Daniel Bryan is the kind of heel who pays special attention to the little details, and that's what makes him so good at what he does.
1. Kofi Kingston v. David Otunga - 3 out of 5
2. AJ v. Nikki Bella - 4 out of 5
3. Cody Rhodes v. The Great Khali - 3 out of 5
4. Big Show v. Drew McIntyre - 1 out of 5
5. Mark Henry v. Yoshi Tatsu - 2 out of 5
6. Chris Jericho v. Sheamus - 4 out of 5
The road to WrestleMania has been heating up in recent weeks. The GM teams are beginning to flush out now, and on Friday night Christian basically put himself in Johnny Ace's team. Not that Mr. Ace was exactly trying to stop him. Teddy tried to put him in a match, but Laurinaitis told him Christian wasn't cleared, and that led to our first match. The best part here was during the match, with both GMs joining commentary, when Johnny explained that Christian HAD been cleared, but then he got an ingrown toenail. Let's hope there's none of those come April 1. I am very much looking forward to watching Christian kick some ass in the next couple of weeks.
Three, count them THREE big men were in action on this program, and only one of them managed to serve any kind of purpose, and that was the guy we least wanted to see on our television. Big Show and Mark Henry both squashed jobbers, which proves once again that they can beat up guys smaller than them. A special double-this-accomplished-nothing goes to Big Show for beating up Drew McIntyre who has won a single match in the last two months, and that was against a little person. Meanwhile, Khali fell to Cody's disaster kick, which helps begin the resurgence of Cody's quest to make his title mean something. Because it does.
And then there was Daniel Bryan, who has embraced his full-on asshole heel persona. He's such a pig, it's a wonder he lets AJ come out to the ring at all. This week, he bought her a dress that looked better on the mannequin, helped her win her match (and afterwards asserted that if she'd listened to him, it would have gone more smoothly), and then celebrated as though he'd just won at WrestleMania. At the end of the night, he sat ringside for Sheamus' match with Jericho, while AJ stood--STOOD--quietly behind him. Daniel Bryan is the kind of heel who pays special attention to the little details, and that's what makes him so good at what he does.
Friday, March 16, 2012
Impact 3-15-12
We're baaa-aaack! The delay was longer than anticipated, as we all had to get settled into the new place, and I had to get settled into my new store. We are all happier than ever here, and now that we have less to worry about, it's time for wrestling!!
Matches:
1. Madison Rayne v. Velvet Skye - 3 out of 5
2. Crimson v. Samoa Joe - 2 out of 5
3. Mickie James v. Gail Kim - 3 out of 5
4. Christopher Daniels v. Mr. Anderson - ? out of 5
5. Kurt Angle v. Garrett Bischoff - ? out of 5
6. Gunner v. James Storm - ? out of 5
I will admit, I got distracted in other internet things during the second half of the show this week. I just wasn't interested in... well, any of the things that happened in hour two. The first hour had already given us Bully Ray, two Knockouts matches, and a quick EY/ODB backstage segment, so what else is there to look forward to? The contract signing?
I did stop interneting in time for the ending of the show. I don't know that I have a whole lot to say now that I'm actually getting to writing about it. While it was happening, I was screaming at my television for those guys to go crazy already! Throw the table over! Hit him! Don't you know how these things work? Now that I'm able to actually enjoy my life again, I'm finding I'm a lot more vocal during my viewings once again. Besides, there are two things in professional wrestling that always end in disaster. One is contract signings. The other is weddings, and don't you worry, we're going to get one of those soon enough, too. ODB and Eric Young decided that the most appropriate place to get married would be the very place they first got together, right here on Impact Wrestling. Because that's a super good idea.
This show, of course, leads us into Victory Road, so there are those stories to play up. Madison Rayne and Gail Kim each had singles matches (because Sting was sick of hearing them point the finger at each other). Anderson took on Daniels to preview the tag match they will both be participating in. Crimson and Samoa Joe did the same. Aries cut a great promo where he celebrated officially having the longest X-Division Championship reign ever. Angle and Hardy both had backstage segments. Storm tried to get at Bully Ray, but failed. Even Robbie E. had a backstage interview. So they managed to cover all their matches in a two-hour show and still have time to shove Baby Bisch into the mix.
Matches:
1. Madison Rayne v. Velvet Skye - 3 out of 5
2. Crimson v. Samoa Joe - 2 out of 5
3. Mickie James v. Gail Kim - 3 out of 5
4. Christopher Daniels v. Mr. Anderson - ? out of 5
5. Kurt Angle v. Garrett Bischoff - ? out of 5
6. Gunner v. James Storm - ? out of 5
I will admit, I got distracted in other internet things during the second half of the show this week. I just wasn't interested in... well, any of the things that happened in hour two. The first hour had already given us Bully Ray, two Knockouts matches, and a quick EY/ODB backstage segment, so what else is there to look forward to? The contract signing?
I did stop interneting in time for the ending of the show. I don't know that I have a whole lot to say now that I'm actually getting to writing about it. While it was happening, I was screaming at my television for those guys to go crazy already! Throw the table over! Hit him! Don't you know how these things work? Now that I'm able to actually enjoy my life again, I'm finding I'm a lot more vocal during my viewings once again. Besides, there are two things in professional wrestling that always end in disaster. One is contract signings. The other is weddings, and don't you worry, we're going to get one of those soon enough, too. ODB and Eric Young decided that the most appropriate place to get married would be the very place they first got together, right here on Impact Wrestling. Because that's a super good idea.
This show, of course, leads us into Victory Road, so there are those stories to play up. Madison Rayne and Gail Kim each had singles matches (because Sting was sick of hearing them point the finger at each other). Anderson took on Daniels to preview the tag match they will both be participating in. Crimson and Samoa Joe did the same. Aries cut a great promo where he celebrated officially having the longest X-Division Championship reign ever. Angle and Hardy both had backstage segments. Storm tried to get at Bully Ray, but failed. Even Robbie E. had a backstage interview. So they managed to cover all their matches in a two-hour show and still have time to shove Baby Bisch into the mix.
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