Before I begin, I want to say that due to moving, and the delays that are inevitably involved, it's entirely possible that we will miss Impact this week, and therefore there may be no Impact review on Friday. If you keep up with me on Twitter (@ajakitty), I'll keep up with updates on when we can be expected to return.
Matches:
1. CM Punk v. Daniel Bryan - 4 out of 5
2. Kelly Kelly v. Nikki Bella - 2 out of 5
3. John Cena v. The Miz - 3 out of 5
4. Primo & Epico v. R-Turth & Kofi Kingston v. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger - 4 out of 5
5. Sheamus & Big Show v. Cody Rhodes & Mark Henry - 2 out of 5
Jericho and CM Punk started the show by cutting one of the best promos I have seen in this company for a very long time. CM Punk was snarky as always, and Jericho showed us the most emotion we've seen out of anybody since The Shoot Heard Round the World. The Rock/Cena promo that would end the show is paled in comparison to this, which is probably why they bookended the show this way. The Rock said really nothing for 10 minutes before John Cena came out. In fact, I had given up on the whole thing and left the room before then. I was just bored by it. It was not the Wrestlemania-caliber promo that we should have seen from the Rock, and it was not what we should have seen between these two men. From what I understand, though, Rock seemed genuinely ticked about some of the comments from John, so hopefully we can get some via-satellite responses that better fit the character of the Rock sometime in the next month.
I have mentioned before that I was never an advocate for, nor am I a fan of, Heel Eve. It just doesn't fit her well, and in the middle of the show she came out for 5 minutes and talked about how she couldn't help it if men fell over her all the time. The match between Kelly and Nikki was really only there so that the announcers could talk about how Kelly didn't understand what was going on with Eve. And then of course there was the crowd chanting "Hoeski" at her while she was in the ring. I just hate everything about this so far, and the worst part is that I really can't see this going anywhere. Not anywhere good, anyway.
But! here's the fun part. Since the GMs are so heated in rivalry right now, the Board of Directors have decided that they will switch places next week, with Teddy Long running Raw, and John Laurinaitis running Smackdown. If nothing else, this should prove to be an interesting experiment with the characterization. I've been known to dabble in fanfiction, and it's always fun to drop a character into a new scenario and see how they react. This should be a test for Creative to prove that they know who they are writing, and also a test for the GMs to see if they can handle the other's job. If anyone was wondering, by the way, I'm on Team Laurinaitis. Teddy works on Smackdown (although I haven't let him off the hook for his jab at Vickie yet). I'm just not sure that he will translate the same to the live show.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Impact 2-23-12
Due to the busy week we've been having here, I completely forgot to plug our appearance on the Squared Circle Jerks podcast. Episode 13 was much nicer than our last apperance, as we discussed the latest editions of TNA and NWA Hollywood with Paul and newest podcaster Jeff. Go give us a listen!!
Matches:
1. Samoa Joe & Magnus v. Matt Morgan & Crimson - 3 out of 5
2. Zema Ion v. Alex Shelley - 3 out of 5
3. Gail Kim v. ODB - 4 out of 5
4. AJ Styles v. Robbie E - 3 out of 5
5. Jeff Hardy & James Storm v. Bully Ray & Kurt Angle - 3 out of 5
This week we had to once again endure the travesty of celebrity football player Brandon Jacobs being involved in our wrestling program. Athletes of other sports are generally terrible actors, and Jacobs kept up the tradition by cutting a painful promo against Bully Ray (who, incidentally showed up and made the segment infinitely better by generally existing, and also by calling him Brenda). Then he interfered in the main event. Which was... interesting, to say the least. Despite there being no announcement whatsoever that this match was no DQ, the ref just watched as Jacobs got into the ring and laid Bully Ray out on a table that he and Angle had dragged into the ring. Bah. The worst part of this is that I don't think this is the last we're going to be seeing of this big oaf.
I want to say that I like what TNA is doing with the women lately. I'm not sure that Madison Rayne has actually turned face yet, but it certainly feels like she's out-conniving Gail Kim as the number one contender to her title. According to Madison, she did Kim a favor by winning the Battle Royal, because she felt the rest of the roster was not up to Kim's caliber of talent. This week, she showed up mid-match, which distracted Kim, but not enough to make her lose. That was a good decision for the story, because then of course Madison tried to congratulate Kim, but apparently these two are not on the same page about where their friendship is at this point. Which, admittedly, is probably the case, but I really can't wait to see how this one plays out for us.
And then, there was Sting. TNA seems to be using Twitter lately as a mechanism for storyline, which I can't say that I dislike. While WWE certainly mentions tweets that their talent sent out as commentary on their storylines, TNA is actually using Twitter within the plot. Here's the summary: Sting tweeted simply, "I'm done." Everyone wondered what he meant, except for Bobby Roode, who simply assumed he'd succeeded in making Sting quit, and quickly took credit for ending the icon's career. At the end of the show, Sting came out to address it, and was soon interrupted by Bobby Roode, who did everything but try to push Sting out the door. Apparently, what Sting meant was, "I'm done taking this crap and going halfway with this jackass" and he then slabbed black paint on half of his face before somehow convincing himself that he's living in the Wizard of Oz, and jumping even farther into the deep end than he was when he was The Joker. Oh, yeah, and he's gonna take on Bobby Roode at Lockdown. Time will only tell if this is a marketable idea.
Matches:
1. Samoa Joe & Magnus v. Matt Morgan & Crimson - 3 out of 5
2. Zema Ion v. Alex Shelley - 3 out of 5
3. Gail Kim v. ODB - 4 out of 5
4. AJ Styles v. Robbie E - 3 out of 5
5. Jeff Hardy & James Storm v. Bully Ray & Kurt Angle - 3 out of 5
This week we had to once again endure the travesty of celebrity football player Brandon Jacobs being involved in our wrestling program. Athletes of other sports are generally terrible actors, and Jacobs kept up the tradition by cutting a painful promo against Bully Ray (who, incidentally showed up and made the segment infinitely better by generally existing, and also by calling him Brenda). Then he interfered in the main event. Which was... interesting, to say the least. Despite there being no announcement whatsoever that this match was no DQ, the ref just watched as Jacobs got into the ring and laid Bully Ray out on a table that he and Angle had dragged into the ring. Bah. The worst part of this is that I don't think this is the last we're going to be seeing of this big oaf.
I want to say that I like what TNA is doing with the women lately. I'm not sure that Madison Rayne has actually turned face yet, but it certainly feels like she's out-conniving Gail Kim as the number one contender to her title. According to Madison, she did Kim a favor by winning the Battle Royal, because she felt the rest of the roster was not up to Kim's caliber of talent. This week, she showed up mid-match, which distracted Kim, but not enough to make her lose. That was a good decision for the story, because then of course Madison tried to congratulate Kim, but apparently these two are not on the same page about where their friendship is at this point. Which, admittedly, is probably the case, but I really can't wait to see how this one plays out for us.
And then, there was Sting. TNA seems to be using Twitter lately as a mechanism for storyline, which I can't say that I dislike. While WWE certainly mentions tweets that their talent sent out as commentary on their storylines, TNA is actually using Twitter within the plot. Here's the summary: Sting tweeted simply, "I'm done." Everyone wondered what he meant, except for Bobby Roode, who simply assumed he'd succeeded in making Sting quit, and quickly took credit for ending the icon's career. At the end of the show, Sting came out to address it, and was soon interrupted by Bobby Roode, who did everything but try to push Sting out the door. Apparently, what Sting meant was, "I'm done taking this crap and going halfway with this jackass" and he then slabbed black paint on half of his face before somehow convincing himself that he's living in the Wizard of Oz, and jumping even farther into the deep end than he was when he was The Joker. Oh, yeah, and he's gonna take on Bobby Roode at Lockdown. Time will only tell if this is a marketable idea.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Smackdown 2-21-12
Once again, WWE brings you a special live edition of Super Smackdown! on Tuesday night!
Matches:
1. Sheamus v. The Miz - 4 out of 5
2. Jack Swagger & Dolph Ziggler v. R-Truth & Kofi Kingston - 4 out of 5
3. The Great Khali v. Drew McIntyre - 0 out of 5
4. Mark Henry v. Big Show - 3 out of 5
5. David Otunga v. Ezekiel Jackson - 3 out of 5
6. CM Punk v. Daniel Bryan - 4 out of 5
Smackdown is really kicking Raw's ass lately, so the rivalry between the GMs seems to flow naturally from that. The main event was restarted twice, and ended in essentially a draw, which was an excellent way not only to build heat between the two brands, but also to keep either champion from looking weak in the build-up to WrestleMania. I'd like to see this lead to a tag team match, playa, with both GMs hand-picking teams of three. Otunga and Punk for Long, with Sheamus to round out the group, and Zeke and Bryan for Laurinaitis, probably with Mark Henry. Look for that to happen sometime next week. The heat can continue with new teams led by Otunga and Zeke at WrestleMania, for control of both brands.
It was nice to see the girls get the night off from being humiliated. I think the only lady we saw this week was Vickie Guerrero, who was fantastic as always. Although to me it did look like she was supposed to have been knocked over by Swagger and fell over too soon. Still, points to the commentators. Cole pretty consistently compliments her (since he's the heel commentator), but the others just don't say anything in response anymore. Now let's see if Teddy Long can learn to do the same thing and shut his mouth. Teddy's been in the dog house with me since insulting Vickie at the Elimination Chamber pay-per-view.
The scores on this show were very high. The match-ups we saw were better than I was expecting them to be. Miz didn't just get squashed by Sheamus, which was really nice to see. The only complaint I have against the tag team match is that Swagger should have been the one to get the pin. I don't know if WWE is trying to just retire the US Championship by making us forget it exists, but it's really in a sad state right now. Mark Henry made his match against Show look awesome by screaming at him the whole time. Even Otunga and Zeke looked good, and not totally stale. And of course the main event was just as phenomenal as it should have been. The only reason it gets a 4 instead of a 5 is because there was no announcement of a draw afterwards, which made it feel kind of like a non-finish. I mean, I get what they were doing, but having an official announcement would have been better for me.
The only thing I did not like at all in this show was Drew McIntyre and Khali. Was there a point to that? I'd like to have Khali off my screen, and I'd like to see this angle with Drew go somewhere already. There's already been a couple of months of this. I don't mind a long build. You can tell better stories that way. Two months is enough time to establish Drew's losing streak, and it's time now to move on to the next part of the plot.
Matches:
1. Sheamus v. The Miz - 4 out of 5
2. Jack Swagger & Dolph Ziggler v. R-Truth & Kofi Kingston - 4 out of 5
3. The Great Khali v. Drew McIntyre - 0 out of 5
4. Mark Henry v. Big Show - 3 out of 5
5. David Otunga v. Ezekiel Jackson - 3 out of 5
6. CM Punk v. Daniel Bryan - 4 out of 5
Smackdown is really kicking Raw's ass lately, so the rivalry between the GMs seems to flow naturally from that. The main event was restarted twice, and ended in essentially a draw, which was an excellent way not only to build heat between the two brands, but also to keep either champion from looking weak in the build-up to WrestleMania. I'd like to see this lead to a tag team match, playa, with both GMs hand-picking teams of three. Otunga and Punk for Long, with Sheamus to round out the group, and Zeke and Bryan for Laurinaitis, probably with Mark Henry. Look for that to happen sometime next week. The heat can continue with new teams led by Otunga and Zeke at WrestleMania, for control of both brands.
It was nice to see the girls get the night off from being humiliated. I think the only lady we saw this week was Vickie Guerrero, who was fantastic as always. Although to me it did look like she was supposed to have been knocked over by Swagger and fell over too soon. Still, points to the commentators. Cole pretty consistently compliments her (since he's the heel commentator), but the others just don't say anything in response anymore. Now let's see if Teddy Long can learn to do the same thing and shut his mouth. Teddy's been in the dog house with me since insulting Vickie at the Elimination Chamber pay-per-view.
The scores on this show were very high. The match-ups we saw were better than I was expecting them to be. Miz didn't just get squashed by Sheamus, which was really nice to see. The only complaint I have against the tag team match is that Swagger should have been the one to get the pin. I don't know if WWE is trying to just retire the US Championship by making us forget it exists, but it's really in a sad state right now. Mark Henry made his match against Show look awesome by screaming at him the whole time. Even Otunga and Zeke looked good, and not totally stale. And of course the main event was just as phenomenal as it should have been. The only reason it gets a 4 instead of a 5 is because there was no announcement of a draw afterwards, which made it feel kind of like a non-finish. I mean, I get what they were doing, but having an official announcement would have been better for me.
The only thing I did not like at all in this show was Drew McIntyre and Khali. Was there a point to that? I'd like to have Khali off my screen, and I'd like to see this angle with Drew go somewhere already. There's already been a couple of months of this. I don't mind a long build. You can tell better stories that way. Two months is enough time to establish Drew's losing streak, and it's time now to move on to the next part of the plot.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Raw 2-20-12
Matches:
1. Sheamus v. Mark Henry - 3 out of 5
2. Kofi Kingston & R-Truth v. Epico & Primo - 3 out of 5
3. David Otunga v. Ezekiel Jackson - 2 out of 5
4. Daniel Bryan v. Santino - 2 out of 5
5. The Bella Twins v. Aksana & Kelly Kelly - 1 out of 5
6. 10-man battle royal for #1 contender for WWE championship - 3 out of 5
The matches scored low on this show this week, mainly because most of them were squashes. Three of the men who would go on to compete in the battle royal had matches earlier in the night, and the whole idea of having the battle royal was pretty pointless in the first place. Being eliminated, not by pinfall or submission, but by knock-out from the elimination chamber, Jericho was the obvious contender for CM Punk's title. When Jericho cut his promo earlier in the night about the match, he didn't even seem bothered by the idea that he had to compete for the position, which clearly should have been the first thing he said. It made me wonder if the current creative team really understands his character.
The first main talking point of the evening, however, was the unavoidable subject of Eve's heel turn. For the record, I've never been an advocate of this idea, mainly because I never thought she seemed like she could pull it off. Sadly, she proved me right on Monday, and the result was the humiliation of yet another woman on the roster. Pro tip for Eve: when even the heeliest of the women (The Bellas) are giving you a look like, "Woah, back the fuck up", maybe this is not the best direction for you. Not to mention that this whole thing meant Kelly had to tag with Aksana, which left even Kelly looking very unsure.
Later, of course, came the big confrontation between Triple H and Undertaker. Undertaker accused Triple H of not wanting to be gone from the business (not in the way that the IWC does, but it still felt like a double-meaning jab), and called him a coward. At first, Trips laughed in his face, saying he knew what Taker was doing and that it wasn't going to work, but before he could get halfway up the ramp, Taker threw another insult at him by saying he was never as good as Shawn Michaels. I guess that was the straw that broke the camel's back, because not only did Triple H accept the challenge (a little premature for my tastes, but okay), he stipulated that it would be a Hell in a Cell. Now, I'm not as down on this as others seem to be. A little worried, perhaps, as is Mehe, but I find the idea interesting, and we shall see if these guys can pull it off for an epic final battle. I do like to try and keep an open mind.
1. Sheamus v. Mark Henry - 3 out of 5
2. Kofi Kingston & R-Truth v. Epico & Primo - 3 out of 5
3. David Otunga v. Ezekiel Jackson - 2 out of 5
4. Daniel Bryan v. Santino - 2 out of 5
5. The Bella Twins v. Aksana & Kelly Kelly - 1 out of 5
6. 10-man battle royal for #1 contender for WWE championship - 3 out of 5
The matches scored low on this show this week, mainly because most of them were squashes. Three of the men who would go on to compete in the battle royal had matches earlier in the night, and the whole idea of having the battle royal was pretty pointless in the first place. Being eliminated, not by pinfall or submission, but by knock-out from the elimination chamber, Jericho was the obvious contender for CM Punk's title. When Jericho cut his promo earlier in the night about the match, he didn't even seem bothered by the idea that he had to compete for the position, which clearly should have been the first thing he said. It made me wonder if the current creative team really understands his character.
The first main talking point of the evening, however, was the unavoidable subject of Eve's heel turn. For the record, I've never been an advocate of this idea, mainly because I never thought she seemed like she could pull it off. Sadly, she proved me right on Monday, and the result was the humiliation of yet another woman on the roster. Pro tip for Eve: when even the heeliest of the women (The Bellas) are giving you a look like, "Woah, back the fuck up", maybe this is not the best direction for you. Not to mention that this whole thing meant Kelly had to tag with Aksana, which left even Kelly looking very unsure.
Later, of course, came the big confrontation between Triple H and Undertaker. Undertaker accused Triple H of not wanting to be gone from the business (not in the way that the IWC does, but it still felt like a double-meaning jab), and called him a coward. At first, Trips laughed in his face, saying he knew what Taker was doing and that it wasn't going to work, but before he could get halfway up the ramp, Taker threw another insult at him by saying he was never as good as Shawn Michaels. I guess that was the straw that broke the camel's back, because not only did Triple H accept the challenge (a little premature for my tastes, but okay), he stipulated that it would be a Hell in a Cell. Now, I'm not as down on this as others seem to be. A little worried, perhaps, as is Mehe, but I find the idea interesting, and we shall see if these guys can pull it off for an epic final battle. I do like to try and keep an open mind.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Elimination Chamber Results
So the card order last night was, uh, strange to say the least. To me, it seemed like they lined the show up in a logical order first, and then decided to completely reverse the order of the matches.
1. CM Punk v. The Miz v. Chris Jericho v. Dolph Ziggler v. Kofi Kingston v. R-Truth (Elimination Chamber for the WWE Championship): 4 out of 5. That's right, the strongest match on the entire card was the opener for the show. This decision made no sense to me right off the bat. In hindsight, it almost makes sense coming before the Smackdown match (although even that wasn't necessary, Sheamus could have held off till the opening segment of Raw to make a statement. In fact, that probably would have been better storytelling). But to begin the last pay-per-view event before WrestleMania? The surprise match we got later on in the show would have made much more sense here. At any rate, all six performers in this match were, as expected, incredible. It was as fast-paced and action-packed as I predicted it would be. There were a lot of huge spots that deserve to make the highlight reel, but of course the spot of the match was Punk kicking Jericho into the side of the chamber just as the referees were closing it back up after Kofi was unceremoniously thrown out. Jericho tumbled, right into a camera man, and was afterwards declared unable to continue. This left us with a somewhat awkward ending between Punk and Miz, but it sets up Punk/Jericho for WrestleMania rather well.
2. Beth Phoenix v. Tamina Snuka (Diva's Championship): 4 out of 5. Yeah, you read that right. I was actually very impressed with what these ladies were allowed to do in this match. Seriously, when is the last time you saw a Superplex involving women in WWE? Both Beth and Tamina were, rightfully, as impressive as they could be. Tamina is growing on me, fast. I like her look. Oh, and speaking of looks, I really liked the continuity nod/tribute by Beth as explained by Michael Cole. Beth was wearing a kind of Roddy Piper-inspired skirt last night, after having watched tapes of his rivalry with Tamina's father, Jimmy Snuka. At one point, Beth even called Tamina "coconut head". I like the idea of my champions showing their research in the ring. It's a little thing, but it solidifies the idea that this person deserves to be champion.
3. Daniel Bryan v. Santino v. Big Show v. Cody Rhodes v. Wade Barrett v. The Great Khali (Elimination Chamber for the World Heavyweight Championship): 3 out of 5. I didn't expect this one to be as good as its Raw counterpart, and it wasn't. Mercifully, The Great Khali was taken out of this match almost as soon as he entered it, which makes me wonder what the point was of even putting him in the chamber to begin with? There are other stars that could have filled that spot and been more entertaining (*cough*Drew*cough*). I did love Cody and Wade here, as usual. The chamber setting gave them the opportunity to turn up the brutality, and it was beautiful. Daniel Bryan was the final man into this match, but before the clock had a chance to count down to his entrance, Big Show managed to crawl into his pod and go ahead and start beating on him. This would have been a golden opportunity to give us that "through the pod" spot from the other side of the glass, but it didn't happen that way. After Show and Daniel were released, Wade Barrett helped to take down Big Show, who was then covered by Cody Rhodes. Almost directly afterwards, Santino took the IC champ by surprise and rolled him up. This would not be Santino's last elimination, as the Wade Barrett was the next to be taken out, also by Santino. Santino surprised the household by making it all the way to the end to go one-on-one with the champ. Sure, he's ridiculously over, but World Heavyweight Champion material? Perhaps he's leading to a rivalry with Cody Rhodes that will shape his persona into a more serious character, and test if he's got what it takes. Daniel Bryan ended the fight in submission, and I have not screamed that hard at a current pay-per-view match in a long while, as I sat there and cheered, "Tap! Tap, you Glorious Bastard, TAP!" After the match, Sheamus showed up and dropped Daniel Bryan. It's almost like he already had his mind made up.
4. Jack Swagger v. Justin Gabriel (United States Championship): I have no idea out of 5. The only thing I know about this match is that it was very short, and Jack Swagger kept his title. I did not see one single move of this match, because I was too busy being absolutely livid over the preceding segment, which consisted of Hornswoggle eating cheese, another fart joke directed at Natalya, and Teddy Long inferring that Vickie Guerrero is ugly. As a matter of fact, I spent the rest of the pay-per-view campaigning my little article even farther. I tweeted that I'd go to the news the next day, but then I asked myself, "Why wait?"
5. John Cena v. Kane (Ambulance Match): Er, 2 out of 5. Like I said, I wasn't paying a super amount of attention to this match, being so angry, but the bits and pieces I did see were clearly not grudge-y enough. This is an AMBULANCE MATCH for you to EMBRACE THE HATE. Get angry!! Get real angry!! Cena, predictably, and for a change logically, went over jobber-to-the-stars Kane at the end of this match. So it should be time to see what Creative has in store for him for the next 6 weeks.
John Laurinaitis' big announcement turned out to be that he's suggested to the board of directors that Teddy Long be subjected to the same scrutiny as him, and also have a performance review. Then we had the big returns we've been waiting for. First Alberto Del Rio, then Mark Henry, and finally Christian came out to voice their support for Mr. Excitement in his quest to be permanent GM of both shows. David Otunga took pictures, which he immediately tweeted.
Hey, wait a minute! I correctly predicted the entire show! That's a first for me, and something I probably won't repeat again for a while. So the Elimination Chamber pay-per-view gets a 3 out of 5 overall. The first two hours of the show were really captivating, and I have to admit, I liked the Smackdown chamber match more than I thought I would. Then we had a backstage segment that was unnecessary, a title match that was essentially a squash, and a grudge match that was far too weak for the story it was supposed to be telling. If it wasn't for that last hour, this show could easily have gotten a 4 from me.
One last thing, if you haven't read the article about the treatment of women in WWE, please do us a favor and go back and read it. Feel free to leave comments there, especially if you have suggestions as to how we can spread the word. We will appreciate any help anyone can send our way as we campaign to bring respect back to women in professional wrestling. And don't forget to check back in tomorrow for my Raw recap! Hopefully with less farting.
1. CM Punk v. The Miz v. Chris Jericho v. Dolph Ziggler v. Kofi Kingston v. R-Truth (Elimination Chamber for the WWE Championship): 4 out of 5. That's right, the strongest match on the entire card was the opener for the show. This decision made no sense to me right off the bat. In hindsight, it almost makes sense coming before the Smackdown match (although even that wasn't necessary, Sheamus could have held off till the opening segment of Raw to make a statement. In fact, that probably would have been better storytelling). But to begin the last pay-per-view event before WrestleMania? The surprise match we got later on in the show would have made much more sense here. At any rate, all six performers in this match were, as expected, incredible. It was as fast-paced and action-packed as I predicted it would be. There were a lot of huge spots that deserve to make the highlight reel, but of course the spot of the match was Punk kicking Jericho into the side of the chamber just as the referees were closing it back up after Kofi was unceremoniously thrown out. Jericho tumbled, right into a camera man, and was afterwards declared unable to continue. This left us with a somewhat awkward ending between Punk and Miz, but it sets up Punk/Jericho for WrestleMania rather well.
2. Beth Phoenix v. Tamina Snuka (Diva's Championship): 4 out of 5. Yeah, you read that right. I was actually very impressed with what these ladies were allowed to do in this match. Seriously, when is the last time you saw a Superplex involving women in WWE? Both Beth and Tamina were, rightfully, as impressive as they could be. Tamina is growing on me, fast. I like her look. Oh, and speaking of looks, I really liked the continuity nod/tribute by Beth as explained by Michael Cole. Beth was wearing a kind of Roddy Piper-inspired skirt last night, after having watched tapes of his rivalry with Tamina's father, Jimmy Snuka. At one point, Beth even called Tamina "coconut head". I like the idea of my champions showing their research in the ring. It's a little thing, but it solidifies the idea that this person deserves to be champion.
3. Daniel Bryan v. Santino v. Big Show v. Cody Rhodes v. Wade Barrett v. The Great Khali (Elimination Chamber for the World Heavyweight Championship): 3 out of 5. I didn't expect this one to be as good as its Raw counterpart, and it wasn't. Mercifully, The Great Khali was taken out of this match almost as soon as he entered it, which makes me wonder what the point was of even putting him in the chamber to begin with? There are other stars that could have filled that spot and been more entertaining (*cough*Drew*cough*). I did love Cody and Wade here, as usual. The chamber setting gave them the opportunity to turn up the brutality, and it was beautiful. Daniel Bryan was the final man into this match, but before the clock had a chance to count down to his entrance, Big Show managed to crawl into his pod and go ahead and start beating on him. This would have been a golden opportunity to give us that "through the pod" spot from the other side of the glass, but it didn't happen that way. After Show and Daniel were released, Wade Barrett helped to take down Big Show, who was then covered by Cody Rhodes. Almost directly afterwards, Santino took the IC champ by surprise and rolled him up. This would not be Santino's last elimination, as the Wade Barrett was the next to be taken out, also by Santino. Santino surprised the household by making it all the way to the end to go one-on-one with the champ. Sure, he's ridiculously over, but World Heavyweight Champion material? Perhaps he's leading to a rivalry with Cody Rhodes that will shape his persona into a more serious character, and test if he's got what it takes. Daniel Bryan ended the fight in submission, and I have not screamed that hard at a current pay-per-view match in a long while, as I sat there and cheered, "Tap! Tap, you Glorious Bastard, TAP!" After the match, Sheamus showed up and dropped Daniel Bryan. It's almost like he already had his mind made up.
4. Jack Swagger v. Justin Gabriel (United States Championship): I have no idea out of 5. The only thing I know about this match is that it was very short, and Jack Swagger kept his title. I did not see one single move of this match, because I was too busy being absolutely livid over the preceding segment, which consisted of Hornswoggle eating cheese, another fart joke directed at Natalya, and Teddy Long inferring that Vickie Guerrero is ugly. As a matter of fact, I spent the rest of the pay-per-view campaigning my little article even farther. I tweeted that I'd go to the news the next day, but then I asked myself, "Why wait?"
5. John Cena v. Kane (Ambulance Match): Er, 2 out of 5. Like I said, I wasn't paying a super amount of attention to this match, being so angry, but the bits and pieces I did see were clearly not grudge-y enough. This is an AMBULANCE MATCH for you to EMBRACE THE HATE. Get angry!! Get real angry!! Cena, predictably, and for a change logically, went over jobber-to-the-stars Kane at the end of this match. So it should be time to see what Creative has in store for him for the next 6 weeks.
John Laurinaitis' big announcement turned out to be that he's suggested to the board of directors that Teddy Long be subjected to the same scrutiny as him, and also have a performance review. Then we had the big returns we've been waiting for. First Alberto Del Rio, then Mark Henry, and finally Christian came out to voice their support for Mr. Excitement in his quest to be permanent GM of both shows. David Otunga took pictures, which he immediately tweeted.
Hey, wait a minute! I correctly predicted the entire show! That's a first for me, and something I probably won't repeat again for a while. So the Elimination Chamber pay-per-view gets a 3 out of 5 overall. The first two hours of the show were really captivating, and I have to admit, I liked the Smackdown chamber match more than I thought I would. Then we had a backstage segment that was unnecessary, a title match that was essentially a squash, and a grudge match that was far too weak for the story it was supposed to be telling. If it wasn't for that last hour, this show could easily have gotten a 4 from me.
One last thing, if you haven't read the article about the treatment of women in WWE, please do us a favor and go back and read it. Feel free to leave comments there, especially if you have suggestions as to how we can spread the word. We will appreciate any help anyone can send our way as we campaign to bring respect back to women in professional wrestling. And don't forget to check back in tomorrow for my Raw recap! Hopefully with less farting.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Elimination Chamber Predictions
The announced card for this one is awfully thin, so I'm not hoping for a high rate of accuracy here. I'm also expecting a ridiculous amount of video packages for John Cena and The Rock.
1. Kane v. John Cena (Ambulance Match): This ride has been kind of up and down since it started. The heel turn that the IWC seems to want so badly has been teased to death at this point. Adding Zack Ryder to the mix has also created some confusion as to just where the heck this story is going. To be fair, though, John Cena DOES seem to be getting more and more frustrated every week. And then, of course there's the fact that this story needs a conclusion, to leave Cena open to prepare for his epic battle against the Rock at WrestleMania on April 1. I just don't see how Kane coming out on top makes any sense here. That just leaves Kane open to taunt Cena about how weak he is. However, if Cena wins, he embraces the hate, the cycle is complete, and Kane can be satisfied that his work here is done. And Cena can get to destroying the roster until WrestleMania. Ali's Pick: John Cena
2. Beth Phoenix v. Tamina Snuka (Diva's Championship): Tamina may be the only woman on the roster, other than Natalya, who can pose a challenge to Beth Phoenix, and Beth can sense that. Tamina has spent most of her in-ring time over the last couple of months destroying Beth's partner, so at least this match-up makes sense, which is a step in the right direction. It seems a little early to be handing Tamina the title, however, which is why I'm rooting for Ding. Glamslam. Ding. Ali's Pick: Beth Phoenix
3. Daniel Bryan v. The Big Show v. The Great Khali v. Cody Rhodes v. Wade Barrett v. Sanitno (Elimination Chamber for the World Heavyweight Title): Here's something else I'm aimlessly hoping for, and that's for Khali to be found backstage injured and a last-minute replacement who is not Mark Henry to be entered into this fight. As much as I'd like to see Cody go over in this match and fulfill his promise to be a dual-title holder, I don't see that happening. Nor do I see Wade Barrett winning, as consistently amazing as he is. It will be interesting to see how, in a no-escape environment, Daniel Bryan can pull off a slimy heel victory here. I think this would be the perfect time to turn AJ into the In-on-it-all-along Heel Girlfriend. Ali's Pick: Daniel Bryan
4. CM Punk v. R-Truth v. Dolph Ziggler v. The Miz v. Kofi Kingston v. Chris Jericho (Elimination Chamber for the WWE Championship): In my opinion, the Raw Elimination Chamber match looks much stronger than its Smackdown counterpart. I also think this is much tougher to call with the array of talent being displayed. This one is going to be fast-paced, action-packed, and will inevitably come down to Punk and Jericho. These are both highly-loved personalities, as well as great athletes, so your guess is as good as mine here. I expect lots of antics from Jericho, but I also expect Punk to have done his homework. Ah, what the heck. Ali's Pick: CM Punk
John Laurinaitis has promised to make some kind of big announcement during the show tonight. Again, this is anyone's guess as to what it could be, although I expect it probably has something to do with the campaign to become permanent GM of both Raw and Smackdown.
With the card so thin, we can probably expect, as I said above, lots of Rock/Cena video packages (and by the way, does anyone follow John Cena on Twitter? He has had some decidedly not B.A. Star things to say about the Rock recently). I think we can also expect a surprise match. Hopefully that match will be for the Tag Team Championship, and not DiBiase/Hunico part 50. Heck, they might be able to fit both of those in. Neither one would likely take up very much time, and it would fill out the three hours much better.
Meet me back here tomorrow for results!
1. Kane v. John Cena (Ambulance Match): This ride has been kind of up and down since it started. The heel turn that the IWC seems to want so badly has been teased to death at this point. Adding Zack Ryder to the mix has also created some confusion as to just where the heck this story is going. To be fair, though, John Cena DOES seem to be getting more and more frustrated every week. And then, of course there's the fact that this story needs a conclusion, to leave Cena open to prepare for his epic battle against the Rock at WrestleMania on April 1. I just don't see how Kane coming out on top makes any sense here. That just leaves Kane open to taunt Cena about how weak he is. However, if Cena wins, he embraces the hate, the cycle is complete, and Kane can be satisfied that his work here is done. And Cena can get to destroying the roster until WrestleMania. Ali's Pick: John Cena
2. Beth Phoenix v. Tamina Snuka (Diva's Championship): Tamina may be the only woman on the roster, other than Natalya, who can pose a challenge to Beth Phoenix, and Beth can sense that. Tamina has spent most of her in-ring time over the last couple of months destroying Beth's partner, so at least this match-up makes sense, which is a step in the right direction. It seems a little early to be handing Tamina the title, however, which is why I'm rooting for Ding. Glamslam. Ding. Ali's Pick: Beth Phoenix
3. Daniel Bryan v. The Big Show v. The Great Khali v. Cody Rhodes v. Wade Barrett v. Sanitno (Elimination Chamber for the World Heavyweight Title): Here's something else I'm aimlessly hoping for, and that's for Khali to be found backstage injured and a last-minute replacement who is not Mark Henry to be entered into this fight. As much as I'd like to see Cody go over in this match and fulfill his promise to be a dual-title holder, I don't see that happening. Nor do I see Wade Barrett winning, as consistently amazing as he is. It will be interesting to see how, in a no-escape environment, Daniel Bryan can pull off a slimy heel victory here. I think this would be the perfect time to turn AJ into the In-on-it-all-along Heel Girlfriend. Ali's Pick: Daniel Bryan
4. CM Punk v. R-Truth v. Dolph Ziggler v. The Miz v. Kofi Kingston v. Chris Jericho (Elimination Chamber for the WWE Championship): In my opinion, the Raw Elimination Chamber match looks much stronger than its Smackdown counterpart. I also think this is much tougher to call with the array of talent being displayed. This one is going to be fast-paced, action-packed, and will inevitably come down to Punk and Jericho. These are both highly-loved personalities, as well as great athletes, so your guess is as good as mine here. I expect lots of antics from Jericho, but I also expect Punk to have done his homework. Ah, what the heck. Ali's Pick: CM Punk
John Laurinaitis has promised to make some kind of big announcement during the show tonight. Again, this is anyone's guess as to what it could be, although I expect it probably has something to do with the campaign to become permanent GM of both Raw and Smackdown.
With the card so thin, we can probably expect, as I said above, lots of Rock/Cena video packages (and by the way, does anyone follow John Cena on Twitter? He has had some decidedly not B.A. Star things to say about the Rock recently). I think we can also expect a surprise match. Hopefully that match will be for the Tag Team Championship, and not DiBiase/Hunico part 50. Heck, they might be able to fit both of those in. Neither one would likely take up very much time, and it would fill out the three hours much better.
Meet me back here tomorrow for results!
Friday, February 17, 2012
A Touched Nerve
Ok, I've been holding back on this, and I'm sure Ali will have a lot more to say on the subject tomorrow, but I need to get this off my chest. Right now.
The disgrace that is the WWE women's division has sunk to a new low. Natalya Neidhart's been saddled with this 'farting diva" gimmick.
It's rude. It's crass. It's low even for the WWE.
This is a company that has been running a " B A Star" campaign against bullying and abuse.
Then this starts.
How is this not some form of abuse on a top "diva"? (GOD I HATE THAT TERM FOR FEMALE WRESTLERS.) Why was Nattie saddled with this poor excuse for a storyline?
I get the feeling it's because of her last name. The WWE has enjoyed taking a dump on the Hart name ever since Bret left all those years ago, and even though Bret says he's buried the hatchet, I don't think the WWE has.
I can't even finish articulating what I want to say right now.
The disgrace that is the WWE women's division has sunk to a new low. Natalya Neidhart's been saddled with this 'farting diva" gimmick.
It's rude. It's crass. It's low even for the WWE.
This is a company that has been running a " B A Star" campaign against bullying and abuse.
Then this starts.
How is this not some form of abuse on a top "diva"? (GOD I HATE THAT TERM FOR FEMALE WRESTLERS.) Why was Nattie saddled with this poor excuse for a storyline?
I get the feeling it's because of her last name. The WWE has enjoyed taking a dump on the Hart name ever since Bret left all those years ago, and even though Bret says he's buried the hatchet, I don't think the WWE has.
I can't even finish articulating what I want to say right now.
The State of the Divas Division
I am a female. I am also a fan of wrestling.
Maybe I haven't been a fan for as long as I can remember. I missed the heyday of the 80s when men like Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, and Randy Savage had their run of the business. I didn't get to admire first-hand the grace of Miss Elizabeth, or wonder in awe just what it was Sherri Martel was up to this time. Heck, I came in so late I even missed Sunny showing us how to distract one's opponent. None of this, however, means that I love the business any less than someone like Mehe, who remembers thinking, "That guy is going to be something special" when Undertaker debuted.
One of the things that kept me following the spectacle when I was first introduced to it, was the women. At the time that I came in, Sable and Luna Vachon were mercilessly tearing into each other week after week, to the point where the company actually reinstated its long-defunct Women's Championship. As time passed, I got to enjoy watching the division grow as incredible talents like Trish Stratus, Lita, Mickie James, and Victoria (now TNA's Tara) graced the ring, excited the crowd, and gave hope and strength to the young girls whose destinies it should have been to be the next generation of WWE Divas.
It saddens me to see how far WWE has let the Divas fall recently. Last year, they consistently let go women who could actually perform in-ring (One of which, at this writing, is the current TNA Knockouts Champion), while simultaneously pushing a model who seemingly never had any ambitions towards professional wrestling prior to being spotted and signed by John Laurinaitis. All women's matches are now squashes, lasting no longer than 2 minutes (maybe 5, if it's a pay-per-view). There are only three to four women ever showcased at one time, and you could well be seeing those same women for six months before there's a change in the lineup. The few women who we know can wrestle (Beth Phoenix, Natalya Neidhart, Tamina Snuka) are forced to lower their bars. Because, let's face it, if they did what we know they can do, the rest of WWE's women's roster couldn't rise to that occasion.
WWE and Vince McMahon are certainly no strangers to pushing things too far when it comes to the Divas. McMahon suffered a lot of heat after a segment in which he forced Trish Stratus to get down on all fours and bark like a dog. Lita fell victim to professional and personal boundaries being blurred. Mickie James (not even mentioning the "lesbian stalker fan" angle that started her WWE career) spent months and months being called fat and ugly before she retreated, much the same as the company was doing with Vickie Guerrero last year. And now, we have Natalya Neidhart.
It came as a shock to everyone when several weeks ago during a segment between Teddy Long, Aksana, and Natalya, there was a loud farting noise, and then Nat ran away, embarrassed. I was sad to read in news articles that this was hardly to be an isolated incident. And last night, the trend followed her all the way into the ring, when she apparently farted on Alicia Fox while locking in her signature Sharpshooter (a classic Hart family submission hold), and the referee ran away in disgust.
When WWE treats its women like this, is it any wonder that when their matches come on, the fans say, "Time for the Divas piss break!"? I would rather watch Kelly Kelly roll up the entire roster than have the company continue this treatment of one of their top talents. It's disgraceful, humiliating, and decidedly not funny. It also conflicts with the anti-bullying campaign they started last year, B. A. STAR. STAR is an acronym for "Show Tolerance And Respect". I wonder, where is the respect for the women of this company?
Where was the respect when the entire announcers table continually took shots at Vickie Guerrero's appearance, directly after she lost a ton of weight? Where was the respect when Michael Cole interrupted every single Diva's match for months, declaring that nobody cares? Where is the respect now, when a third-generation wrestler of the highest pedigree is forced to be constantly humiliated both in and out of the ring? And how am I, as a woman, supposed to defend my love of this sport when other people see things like this?
The short-term implications of this treatment disgust me, but what really disturbs me are the long-term consequences. The message being transmitted to young female fans may be the worst thing to happen to female body image in the last decade. And what about the division itself? Tiny models will be lining up for positions, because they see that they can make it big. Meanwhile, talented athletes will turn elsewhere. And that's the ones that don't give up on their professional wrestling dreams altogether.
WWE is the McDonald's of this sport. No matter what happens, people will keep coming back to them. There are many people who, despite having alternatives, only keep up with WWE programming. As the top company in the business, they should be setting new, better standards for others to follow. They should be leaders in every aspect of the industry. By dropping the ball on the Divas, they very well have the potential to kill any interest in women's wrestling as a whole.
Please, WWE, bring respect back to your women. Prove to us that we are more than just arm candy and punchlines. Give us back the glory that, at one time, made me so proud to say, "I am a girl, and I watch wrestling."
Maybe I haven't been a fan for as long as I can remember. I missed the heyday of the 80s when men like Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, and Randy Savage had their run of the business. I didn't get to admire first-hand the grace of Miss Elizabeth, or wonder in awe just what it was Sherri Martel was up to this time. Heck, I came in so late I even missed Sunny showing us how to distract one's opponent. None of this, however, means that I love the business any less than someone like Mehe, who remembers thinking, "That guy is going to be something special" when Undertaker debuted.
One of the things that kept me following the spectacle when I was first introduced to it, was the women. At the time that I came in, Sable and Luna Vachon were mercilessly tearing into each other week after week, to the point where the company actually reinstated its long-defunct Women's Championship. As time passed, I got to enjoy watching the division grow as incredible talents like Trish Stratus, Lita, Mickie James, and Victoria (now TNA's Tara) graced the ring, excited the crowd, and gave hope and strength to the young girls whose destinies it should have been to be the next generation of WWE Divas.
It saddens me to see how far WWE has let the Divas fall recently. Last year, they consistently let go women who could actually perform in-ring (One of which, at this writing, is the current TNA Knockouts Champion), while simultaneously pushing a model who seemingly never had any ambitions towards professional wrestling prior to being spotted and signed by John Laurinaitis. All women's matches are now squashes, lasting no longer than 2 minutes (maybe 5, if it's a pay-per-view). There are only three to four women ever showcased at one time, and you could well be seeing those same women for six months before there's a change in the lineup. The few women who we know can wrestle (Beth Phoenix, Natalya Neidhart, Tamina Snuka) are forced to lower their bars. Because, let's face it, if they did what we know they can do, the rest of WWE's women's roster couldn't rise to that occasion.
WWE and Vince McMahon are certainly no strangers to pushing things too far when it comes to the Divas. McMahon suffered a lot of heat after a segment in which he forced Trish Stratus to get down on all fours and bark like a dog. Lita fell victim to professional and personal boundaries being blurred. Mickie James (not even mentioning the "lesbian stalker fan" angle that started her WWE career) spent months and months being called fat and ugly before she retreated, much the same as the company was doing with Vickie Guerrero last year. And now, we have Natalya Neidhart.
It came as a shock to everyone when several weeks ago during a segment between Teddy Long, Aksana, and Natalya, there was a loud farting noise, and then Nat ran away, embarrassed. I was sad to read in news articles that this was hardly to be an isolated incident. And last night, the trend followed her all the way into the ring, when she apparently farted on Alicia Fox while locking in her signature Sharpshooter (a classic Hart family submission hold), and the referee ran away in disgust.
When WWE treats its women like this, is it any wonder that when their matches come on, the fans say, "Time for the Divas piss break!"? I would rather watch Kelly Kelly roll up the entire roster than have the company continue this treatment of one of their top talents. It's disgraceful, humiliating, and decidedly not funny. It also conflicts with the anti-bullying campaign they started last year, B. A. STAR. STAR is an acronym for "Show Tolerance And Respect". I wonder, where is the respect for the women of this company?
Where was the respect when the entire announcers table continually took shots at Vickie Guerrero's appearance, directly after she lost a ton of weight? Where was the respect when Michael Cole interrupted every single Diva's match for months, declaring that nobody cares? Where is the respect now, when a third-generation wrestler of the highest pedigree is forced to be constantly humiliated both in and out of the ring? And how am I, as a woman, supposed to defend my love of this sport when other people see things like this?
The short-term implications of this treatment disgust me, but what really disturbs me are the long-term consequences. The message being transmitted to young female fans may be the worst thing to happen to female body image in the last decade. And what about the division itself? Tiny models will be lining up for positions, because they see that they can make it big. Meanwhile, talented athletes will turn elsewhere. And that's the ones that don't give up on their professional wrestling dreams altogether.
WWE is the McDonald's of this sport. No matter what happens, people will keep coming back to them. There are many people who, despite having alternatives, only keep up with WWE programming. As the top company in the business, they should be setting new, better standards for others to follow. They should be leaders in every aspect of the industry. By dropping the ball on the Divas, they very well have the potential to kill any interest in women's wrestling as a whole.
Please, WWE, bring respect back to your women. Prove to us that we are more than just arm candy and punchlines. Give us back the glory that, at one time, made me so proud to say, "I am a girl, and I watch wrestling."
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Raw 2-13-12
This week, WWE brought to us, A Very Special Valentine's Day Episode of Monday Night Raw. Complete with Drama! Laughs! Suspense! An overwhelming urge to punch people in the face! It's everything you could ever want from your favorite Prime-Time Action Soap Opera!
And Matches!
1. Chris Jericho v. Kofi Kingston - 3 out of 5.
2. Randy Orton v. Big Show - 2 out of 5.
3. R-Truth v. Dolph Ziggler - 3 out of 5.
4. Tamina v. Brie Bella - 2 out of 5.
5. CM Punk v. The Miz - 3 out of 5.
The six competitors to the Elimination Chamber match this Sunday all did their best to show why they are going to win. Miz especially has been working extra hard lately to remain relevant in the unforgiving sea of talent that is Raw. But the Superstar that really shined in this show was R-Truth. The unhinged angle has translated well into his face turn, and with that change has come a new intensity to his performance. He took Dolph Ziggler by surprise in their match while Vickie (who, I would be remiss to omit, was absolutely FANTASTIC ring-side during this bout) was busy doing more admiring than she was managing. It was the perfect result for this match after Truth stole the opening "debate" segment by making campaign promises as though the WWE Championship was actually won by a voter's decision. Regardless of what happens, however, I'd like to see a more long-term rivalry between him and Ziggler. As it turns out, they have great chemistry together.
The Diva's match this week was not as short or as terrible as we've come to expect. Don't get me wrong, it was still terrible, but Tamina is a good seller, and can apparently make even Brie Bella look like she's not completely incompetent in the ring. The segment was great, however, not just because of Tamina's ring presence, but also because of Beth Phoenix's ring-side commentary. If WWE doesn't fuck this up (which they inevitably will because they don't care about the Divas), this could turn out to actually be an interesting match on Sunday.
Now, I don't want to, but unfortunately, there's no getting around the extremely uncomfortable end to the show. About a half hour into the show, John Cena told a love-stricken Zack Ryder to stay in his (Cena's) dressing room, to keep safe from Kane. Meanwhile, Cena was supposed to go find Eve to bring her back so they could have some Valentine's Time... if you get what I'm saying. Apparently, however, as soon as John left his locker room, he forgot about his mission entirely, and we didn't see him again till an hour and a half later, when at the end of the show, an interviewer was asking him something or other (about the Rock? I dunno. It really DOESN'T MATTER what the question was), when suddenly.. a scream! Kane had attacked Eve and was throwing her into the back of an ambulance, ready to drive off with her. A brawl ensued, it looked like Kane was gonna get away with the girl, but Cena saved her at the last minute. And instead of still being pissed with him for causing so much harm to her friend Zack... *sigh* she kissed him. And I don't mean a little peck. She shoved her tongue down his throat so far she could have diagnosed him with strep throat. Unfortunately, Zack apparently got tired of waiting around, because he'd wheeled himself to the scene too. So... there's that.
Afterwards, Eve tried to apologize and "just be friends" but Zack didn't want to talk to her. Cena came to the ring to contemplate embracing the hate (and never once apologized to his bud for kissing his girl), but he was interrupted when Zack awkwardly hobbled down the ramp on crutches. There was a confrontation, Zack quickly ran away, and back to the safety of his wheelchair, and then Kane showed up and channeled the New Age Outlaws by wheeling him off the side of the stage. Eve showed up for support as John Cena, er, managed the paramedics?
The ensuing heat towards Eve was phenomenal, and possibly the only way the crowd can care about any female talent anymore. Eve, for her part, looked extremely uncomfortable. I dunno where this is headed for her. In the Reality Era, the lines between Face and Heel can be somewhat blurred, but I hope for her sake this is not leading us to Heel Eve. She clearly doesn't know how to respond to that kind of reaction. Seeing Eve fake-cry over Ryder while simultaneously being booed relentlessly by the crowd was possibly the most awkward thing I've seen in WWE programming. And that includes Nash's first return promo.
And Matches!
1. Chris Jericho v. Kofi Kingston - 3 out of 5.
2. Randy Orton v. Big Show - 2 out of 5.
3. R-Truth v. Dolph Ziggler - 3 out of 5.
4. Tamina v. Brie Bella - 2 out of 5.
5. CM Punk v. The Miz - 3 out of 5.
The six competitors to the Elimination Chamber match this Sunday all did their best to show why they are going to win. Miz especially has been working extra hard lately to remain relevant in the unforgiving sea of talent that is Raw. But the Superstar that really shined in this show was R-Truth. The unhinged angle has translated well into his face turn, and with that change has come a new intensity to his performance. He took Dolph Ziggler by surprise in their match while Vickie (who, I would be remiss to omit, was absolutely FANTASTIC ring-side during this bout) was busy doing more admiring than she was managing. It was the perfect result for this match after Truth stole the opening "debate" segment by making campaign promises as though the WWE Championship was actually won by a voter's decision. Regardless of what happens, however, I'd like to see a more long-term rivalry between him and Ziggler. As it turns out, they have great chemistry together.
The Diva's match this week was not as short or as terrible as we've come to expect. Don't get me wrong, it was still terrible, but Tamina is a good seller, and can apparently make even Brie Bella look like she's not completely incompetent in the ring. The segment was great, however, not just because of Tamina's ring presence, but also because of Beth Phoenix's ring-side commentary. If WWE doesn't fuck this up (which they inevitably will because they don't care about the Divas), this could turn out to actually be an interesting match on Sunday.
Now, I don't want to, but unfortunately, there's no getting around the extremely uncomfortable end to the show. About a half hour into the show, John Cena told a love-stricken Zack Ryder to stay in his (Cena's) dressing room, to keep safe from Kane. Meanwhile, Cena was supposed to go find Eve to bring her back so they could have some Valentine's Time... if you get what I'm saying. Apparently, however, as soon as John left his locker room, he forgot about his mission entirely, and we didn't see him again till an hour and a half later, when at the end of the show, an interviewer was asking him something or other (about the Rock? I dunno. It really DOESN'T MATTER what the question was), when suddenly.. a scream! Kane had attacked Eve and was throwing her into the back of an ambulance, ready to drive off with her. A brawl ensued, it looked like Kane was gonna get away with the girl, but Cena saved her at the last minute. And instead of still being pissed with him for causing so much harm to her friend Zack... *sigh* she kissed him. And I don't mean a little peck. She shoved her tongue down his throat so far she could have diagnosed him with strep throat. Unfortunately, Zack apparently got tired of waiting around, because he'd wheeled himself to the scene too. So... there's that.
Afterwards, Eve tried to apologize and "just be friends" but Zack didn't want to talk to her. Cena came to the ring to contemplate embracing the hate (and never once apologized to his bud for kissing his girl), but he was interrupted when Zack awkwardly hobbled down the ramp on crutches. There was a confrontation, Zack quickly ran away, and back to the safety of his wheelchair, and then Kane showed up and channeled the New Age Outlaws by wheeling him off the side of the stage. Eve showed up for support as John Cena, er, managed the paramedics?
The ensuing heat towards Eve was phenomenal, and possibly the only way the crowd can care about any female talent anymore. Eve, for her part, looked extremely uncomfortable. I dunno where this is headed for her. In the Reality Era, the lines between Face and Heel can be somewhat blurred, but I hope for her sake this is not leading us to Heel Eve. She clearly doesn't know how to respond to that kind of reaction. Seeing Eve fake-cry over Ryder while simultaneously being booed relentlessly by the crowd was possibly the most awkward thing I've seen in WWE programming. And that includes Nash's first return promo.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Against All Odds Results!
AKA "Where the FUCK is my Pizza???" (Seriously, I spent most of this pay-per-view waiting for a pizza that arrived an hour later than predicted, lukewarm. On the upside, free pizza!)
1. Zema Ion v. Jesse Sorensen (#1 contender for X-Division): 2 out of 5. This match had the potential to be a really great opener for the show. Unfortunately, a botched flying knee spot knocked Sorensen out cold (legit) and ended this match well before its scheduled time. As of this writing, the report is that Sorensen can feel his legs (which is definitely positive), but cannot move them. There was a bit of scrambling to fill time after this happened, but luckily this was the curtain-jerker, and likely to be a short match anyway, so it didn't take too long to get back on track.
2. Robbie E v. Shannon Moore (Television Championship): 2 out of 5. Hours before the pay-per-view aired, Robbie E put out a video open challenge, which he echoed at the show. Shannon Moore answered the call, and made us here at GWW groan. We're beginning to dread our own state's wrestlers in the ring at this point. What does it say about North Carolina that R-Truth is the most grounded performer we've produced? This match was alright, nothing to write home about, and Robbie E left the arena still the Television Champion. To be truthful, this match would have been better situated between the Tag and X-Division championship matches. Putting it so early really gave a slow start to the program.
3. Gail Kim v. Tara (Knockouts Championship): 4 out of 5. Alright, now the show finally begins to pick up the pace. I guess I haven't really been paying attention to Gail Kim's story in the last couple of weeks. Our good friend Paul over at Squared Circle Jerks tells me that they have been teasing dissention between Kim and her tag team partner Madison Rayne, but they must not have been doing it in a very anvilicious way, because Madison's walk-out seemed to come out of nowhere. Luckily for Kim, she has enough talent that she didn't need her little lackey to take out Tara. I'm hoping to see this rivalry continue to Victory Road.
4. Samoa Joe & Magnus v. Matt Morgan & Crimson (Tag Team Championship): 4 out of 5. My first mis-call of the night, but I'm not complaining. I was genuinely surprised to see the challengers get the push here, but I will say that I did call the caveat. How did we get new champions? That's right, because Magnus pinned Morgan. Despite the continuation of "Joe can never win; Crimson can never lose" in that way, this was a good match. The new champions are a great, cohesive unit, and it opens up a lot of opportunities in the company for more guys to create tag teams and challenge, since Morgan and Crimson are clearly destined for rivalry.
5. Austin Aries v. Alex Shelley (X-Division Championship): 4 out of 5. Lots and lots of high scores tonight. This being TNA, the expectation has been for the pay-per-view to basically be a 3-hour-long extra Impact, but something has got these guys on their A game lately. I don't know if it's the afore-mentioned blood-smelling, or the changes that have been going on backstage, but either way, I like it. This championship match was another solid match, with the competitors going at each other with such equal ferocity that it spawned a rather suitable "This is awesome" chant from the crowd. And once again, the Rock Star, Austin Mercury, came out on top. As it should be.
6. Kazarian v. AJ Styles: 4 out of 5. Back-and-forth "I know your moves inside-and-out"? Check. Shenanigans from Christopher Daniels? Check. Pizza? ... Wait, why am I having to call back a SECOND time?? So, to be fair, this match was at the point that I was so pissed off because I was starving and still waiting for my dinner arrived that I couldn't even watch the whole match. From what I saw, it was appropriately awesome, but regrettably, I didn't even see the ending. Don't worry, folks, I slammed the door in that pizza guy's face.
7. Gunner v. Garrett Bischoff: 3 out of 5. That may seem high, but hear me out. Despite all the talk by Hogan that Garrett Bischoff is the future of this business, all the chest-puffing and decided lack of actual action, all the expectations that Garrett was going to go over SOLELY because he's Eric Bischoff's son, they swerved us here. They actually went the logical route, which I never expected, and put Gunner over instead. Most of the match consisted of Gunner brutalizing Garrett in the ring, and Hogan beating up on Eric outside of it. So, once again, even though I was wrong with my prediction, I'm actually REALLY not mad about that.
8. Bobby Roode v. James Storm v. Bully Ray v. Jeff Hardy (TNA World Heavyweight Championship): 3 out of 5. *sigh* This is the third and final incorrect prediction of the night. And, unlike the other two, I'm actually a little upset by this, although by the consolation that Jeff Hardy did NOT win (and in fact took a belt to the face), I'm less upset about this than I probably could be. Bully Ray, as I've mentioned, is the strongest competitor out of this group of four, and I was REALLY hoping to be able to say, "Bully Ray: TNA World Heavyweight Champion" as he commanded. Unfortunately, it was not to be. When Brian Hebner (the paperiest of paper refs) took his second bump and was down for the count, Bobby Roode took the opportunity to antagonize Sting. An enraged Sting missed a belt shot intended for Roode, and afterwards was forced to count him to victory. The IWC raged. I saw the silver lining. Guys, it may have not been the clean finish you would have liked, but Jeff Hardy didn't win!! Jeff Hardy was the guy who was knocked out and pinned at the end of the night! Can we please just agree that some good came out of this and have a little faith?
1. Zema Ion v. Jesse Sorensen (#1 contender for X-Division): 2 out of 5. This match had the potential to be a really great opener for the show. Unfortunately, a botched flying knee spot knocked Sorensen out cold (legit) and ended this match well before its scheduled time. As of this writing, the report is that Sorensen can feel his legs (which is definitely positive), but cannot move them. There was a bit of scrambling to fill time after this happened, but luckily this was the curtain-jerker, and likely to be a short match anyway, so it didn't take too long to get back on track.
2. Robbie E v. Shannon Moore (Television Championship): 2 out of 5. Hours before the pay-per-view aired, Robbie E put out a video open challenge, which he echoed at the show. Shannon Moore answered the call, and made us here at GWW groan. We're beginning to dread our own state's wrestlers in the ring at this point. What does it say about North Carolina that R-Truth is the most grounded performer we've produced? This match was alright, nothing to write home about, and Robbie E left the arena still the Television Champion. To be truthful, this match would have been better situated between the Tag and X-Division championship matches. Putting it so early really gave a slow start to the program.
3. Gail Kim v. Tara (Knockouts Championship): 4 out of 5. Alright, now the show finally begins to pick up the pace. I guess I haven't really been paying attention to Gail Kim's story in the last couple of weeks. Our good friend Paul over at Squared Circle Jerks tells me that they have been teasing dissention between Kim and her tag team partner Madison Rayne, but they must not have been doing it in a very anvilicious way, because Madison's walk-out seemed to come out of nowhere. Luckily for Kim, she has enough talent that she didn't need her little lackey to take out Tara. I'm hoping to see this rivalry continue to Victory Road.
4. Samoa Joe & Magnus v. Matt Morgan & Crimson (Tag Team Championship): 4 out of 5. My first mis-call of the night, but I'm not complaining. I was genuinely surprised to see the challengers get the push here, but I will say that I did call the caveat. How did we get new champions? That's right, because Magnus pinned Morgan. Despite the continuation of "Joe can never win; Crimson can never lose" in that way, this was a good match. The new champions are a great, cohesive unit, and it opens up a lot of opportunities in the company for more guys to create tag teams and challenge, since Morgan and Crimson are clearly destined for rivalry.
5. Austin Aries v. Alex Shelley (X-Division Championship): 4 out of 5. Lots and lots of high scores tonight. This being TNA, the expectation has been for the pay-per-view to basically be a 3-hour-long extra Impact, but something has got these guys on their A game lately. I don't know if it's the afore-mentioned blood-smelling, or the changes that have been going on backstage, but either way, I like it. This championship match was another solid match, with the competitors going at each other with such equal ferocity that it spawned a rather suitable "This is awesome" chant from the crowd. And once again, the Rock Star, Austin Mercury, came out on top. As it should be.
6. Kazarian v. AJ Styles: 4 out of 5. Back-and-forth "I know your moves inside-and-out"? Check. Shenanigans from Christopher Daniels? Check. Pizza? ... Wait, why am I having to call back a SECOND time?? So, to be fair, this match was at the point that I was so pissed off because I was starving and still waiting for my dinner arrived that I couldn't even watch the whole match. From what I saw, it was appropriately awesome, but regrettably, I didn't even see the ending. Don't worry, folks, I slammed the door in that pizza guy's face.
7. Gunner v. Garrett Bischoff: 3 out of 5. That may seem high, but hear me out. Despite all the talk by Hogan that Garrett Bischoff is the future of this business, all the chest-puffing and decided lack of actual action, all the expectations that Garrett was going to go over SOLELY because he's Eric Bischoff's son, they swerved us here. They actually went the logical route, which I never expected, and put Gunner over instead. Most of the match consisted of Gunner brutalizing Garrett in the ring, and Hogan beating up on Eric outside of it. So, once again, even though I was wrong with my prediction, I'm actually REALLY not mad about that.
8. Bobby Roode v. James Storm v. Bully Ray v. Jeff Hardy (TNA World Heavyweight Championship): 3 out of 5. *sigh* This is the third and final incorrect prediction of the night. And, unlike the other two, I'm actually a little upset by this, although by the consolation that Jeff Hardy did NOT win (and in fact took a belt to the face), I'm less upset about this than I probably could be. Bully Ray, as I've mentioned, is the strongest competitor out of this group of four, and I was REALLY hoping to be able to say, "Bully Ray: TNA World Heavyweight Champion" as he commanded. Unfortunately, it was not to be. When Brian Hebner (the paperiest of paper refs) took his second bump and was down for the count, Bobby Roode took the opportunity to antagonize Sting. An enraged Sting missed a belt shot intended for Roode, and afterwards was forced to count him to victory. The IWC raged. I saw the silver lining. Guys, it may have not been the clean finish you would have liked, but Jeff Hardy didn't win!! Jeff Hardy was the guy who was knocked out and pinned at the end of the night! Can we please just agree that some good came out of this and have a little faith?
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Quick Prediction Count
I came out of Against All Odds correctly predicting 4 our of 7 matches. Find out which ones when I do my write-up tomorrow afternoon!
Against All Odds Predictions
So, for a change, I'm actually looking forward to a pay-per-view event being held by TNA! They are going to be back in the Impact Zone tonight, after the previous two shows were taped in an absolutely AMAZING arena in England, so I'm not so much looking forward to the crowd, but I'm hoping they can do something tonight that will get them back on their feet again.
1. Crimson & Matt Morgan v. Samoa Joe & Magnus (Tag Team Championship): The Wild Card Tag Team Tournament was one of the best ideas the company has had this year, and two great things have come from it. EY & ODB is one, the other is the tag team of Magnus and Samoa Joe. It could potentially be a way to actually put Joe over, but so far Magnus has been the one shining strong. It's actually a little hard to say where this one is going, but if the challengers do prevail, expect it to be because Magnus pinned Morgan. If they follow the tried-and-true, however, the second time is never the charm. Ali's pick: Crimson & Matt Morgan
2. AJ Syles v. Kazarian: After weeks and weeks of build-up, we finally get to see these two duke it out for... Um, well, I suppose Kazarian's loyalty. We've got the wild card of Christopher Daniels to consider here, and considering he basically tried to murder AJ in cold blood not too long ago, he's a BIG consideration. AJ's gonna have to figure out a way to take him out of the picture if he wants to get to the bottom of this mystery. A 2-on-1 scenario just doesn't look good for him here. Ali's Pick: Kazarian
3. Austin Aries v. Alex Shelley (X-Division Championship): Austin has been a ROCK STAR in this division for months. I appreciate the return of a real rival, but this story needs more development before a title change. Yes, I realize I'm picking this based on logic, but I'm beginning to have faith. Ali's Pick: Austin Aries
4. Gail Kim v. Tara (Knockouts Championship): Hm. Another tough one to call. Tara certainly deserves it, but Madison Rayne will certainly be hiding under the ring, waiting to deliver her devastating finisher of Belt To The Face. The only question will be if Velvet Skye or Brook Tessmacher will be ready for this inevitability and ready to intervene on Tara's behalf. Looks like all the Knockouts are looking out for #1 at this point, though. Ali's Pick: Gail Kim
5. Jesse Sorenson v. Zema Ion (#1 Contender for X-Division): I like the idea of having a #1 contender match at the pay-per-view. Considering, however, that Jesse Sorenson is kind of a nobody who hasn't been on TV in a while, I expect this one is just a formality. Ali's Pick: Zema Ion
6. Gunner v. Garrett Bischoff: How much can I say that I'm not looking forward to this? Gunner has been working efortlessly to KILL his way to the top, while Garrett has been spending all his time in the gym, rather than in the ring, and letting Hogan do his cleaning up for him. Being what it is, this one is not going to be rooted in logic. Ali's Pick: Garrett Bischoff
7. Bully Ray v. Bobby Roode v. James Storm v. Jeff Hardy (TNA Heavyweight Championship): The company has been doing a great job of building this one the last couple of weeks, throwing in the conflict between Bully Ray and Bobby Roode as an equalizer to the match. Bully Ray is, whether or not they realize it, the greatest asset the company has at the moment. The fact that Jeff Hardy is in this match was a foregone conclusion from the beginning, but I never expected them to throw Bully Ray into the mix. He could be the wild card that takes home the night. At least, my wishful thinking is leading me to believe that. At any rate, the story lately has been more about the dissension between the heels than it has been about either of the faces. Ali's Pick: Bully Ray
1. Crimson & Matt Morgan v. Samoa Joe & Magnus (Tag Team Championship): The Wild Card Tag Team Tournament was one of the best ideas the company has had this year, and two great things have come from it. EY & ODB is one, the other is the tag team of Magnus and Samoa Joe. It could potentially be a way to actually put Joe over, but so far Magnus has been the one shining strong. It's actually a little hard to say where this one is going, but if the challengers do prevail, expect it to be because Magnus pinned Morgan. If they follow the tried-and-true, however, the second time is never the charm. Ali's pick: Crimson & Matt Morgan
2. AJ Syles v. Kazarian: After weeks and weeks of build-up, we finally get to see these two duke it out for... Um, well, I suppose Kazarian's loyalty. We've got the wild card of Christopher Daniels to consider here, and considering he basically tried to murder AJ in cold blood not too long ago, he's a BIG consideration. AJ's gonna have to figure out a way to take him out of the picture if he wants to get to the bottom of this mystery. A 2-on-1 scenario just doesn't look good for him here. Ali's Pick: Kazarian
3. Austin Aries v. Alex Shelley (X-Division Championship): Austin has been a ROCK STAR in this division for months. I appreciate the return of a real rival, but this story needs more development before a title change. Yes, I realize I'm picking this based on logic, but I'm beginning to have faith. Ali's Pick: Austin Aries
4. Gail Kim v. Tara (Knockouts Championship): Hm. Another tough one to call. Tara certainly deserves it, but Madison Rayne will certainly be hiding under the ring, waiting to deliver her devastating finisher of Belt To The Face. The only question will be if Velvet Skye or Brook Tessmacher will be ready for this inevitability and ready to intervene on Tara's behalf. Looks like all the Knockouts are looking out for #1 at this point, though. Ali's Pick: Gail Kim
5. Jesse Sorenson v. Zema Ion (#1 Contender for X-Division): I like the idea of having a #1 contender match at the pay-per-view. Considering, however, that Jesse Sorenson is kind of a nobody who hasn't been on TV in a while, I expect this one is just a formality. Ali's Pick: Zema Ion
6. Gunner v. Garrett Bischoff: How much can I say that I'm not looking forward to this? Gunner has been working efortlessly to KILL his way to the top, while Garrett has been spending all his time in the gym, rather than in the ring, and letting Hogan do his cleaning up for him. Being what it is, this one is not going to be rooted in logic. Ali's Pick: Garrett Bischoff
7. Bully Ray v. Bobby Roode v. James Storm v. Jeff Hardy (TNA Heavyweight Championship): The company has been doing a great job of building this one the last couple of weeks, throwing in the conflict between Bully Ray and Bobby Roode as an equalizer to the match. Bully Ray is, whether or not they realize it, the greatest asset the company has at the moment. The fact that Jeff Hardy is in this match was a foregone conclusion from the beginning, but I never expected them to throw Bully Ray into the mix. He could be the wild card that takes home the night. At least, my wishful thinking is leading me to believe that. At any rate, the story lately has been more about the dissension between the heels than it has been about either of the faces. Ali's Pick: Bully Ray
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Smackdown 2-10-12
The matches:
1. The Great Khali v. Jinder Majal - Who Cares out of 5
2. Beth Phoenix v. Alicia Fox - Yawn out of 5
3. Sheamus & Big Show v. Wade Barrett & Cody Rhodes - Ooo Wade and Cody! out of 5
4. Ted DiBiase v. Hunico - What, still? out of 5
5. Daniel Bryan v. Randy Orton - Same shit, different face out of 5
Um, WWE? Did anyone tell you that you're coming out of a pay-per-view? So there should be movement forward. You know what? I think I know what's been going on here these last couple of weeks. I think WWE and TNA have ganged up on us to play a practical joke. They've switched writing teams. That's why there's been clean finishes and stories that make sense on Impact, while Raw and Smackdown have been slow, repetitive, and non-conclusive.
Don't get me wrong, there were things about the show I liked. The IWC is fairly well split down the middle, from what I can gather, about the Daniel Bryan "I'm Vegan and I'm better than you" angle, but I quite enjoy it, and Cole's interview with AJ was one part I actually stopped and really paid attention to. AJ proved her worth on the mic, Bryan got to play up his heelish qualities, and Cole got to... um, be Cole I guess.
Wait, is Cole turning face? Does the company know? Last week he was apologizing to Daniel Bryan for being wrong about him, and now this week, he's back to berating him. I'm so confused.
And that's really all there is to say about the show. We had to watch the elimination chamber participants get split up into two matches again: one tag-team, and one singles. And Bryan once again got a DQ victory by antagonizing the big man sitting at commentary into attacking him. I tell you what, I will be ECSTATIC when both Henry and Show are out of the picture for Bryan. Then maybe he can actually start building towards being a believable heel champion. Right now it just feels a little forced, and as I said before, repetitive.
It says something, WWE, when your fans are talking about your competitor for almost the entire length of your show. STEP IT UP! All we want is for you to live up to all the potential you possess.
1. The Great Khali v. Jinder Majal - Who Cares out of 5
2. Beth Phoenix v. Alicia Fox - Yawn out of 5
3. Sheamus & Big Show v. Wade Barrett & Cody Rhodes - Ooo Wade and Cody! out of 5
4. Ted DiBiase v. Hunico - What, still? out of 5
5. Daniel Bryan v. Randy Orton - Same shit, different face out of 5
Um, WWE? Did anyone tell you that you're coming out of a pay-per-view? So there should be movement forward. You know what? I think I know what's been going on here these last couple of weeks. I think WWE and TNA have ganged up on us to play a practical joke. They've switched writing teams. That's why there's been clean finishes and stories that make sense on Impact, while Raw and Smackdown have been slow, repetitive, and non-conclusive.
Don't get me wrong, there were things about the show I liked. The IWC is fairly well split down the middle, from what I can gather, about the Daniel Bryan "I'm Vegan and I'm better than you" angle, but I quite enjoy it, and Cole's interview with AJ was one part I actually stopped and really paid attention to. AJ proved her worth on the mic, Bryan got to play up his heelish qualities, and Cole got to... um, be Cole I guess.
Wait, is Cole turning face? Does the company know? Last week he was apologizing to Daniel Bryan for being wrong about him, and now this week, he's back to berating him. I'm so confused.
And that's really all there is to say about the show. We had to watch the elimination chamber participants get split up into two matches again: one tag-team, and one singles. And Bryan once again got a DQ victory by antagonizing the big man sitting at commentary into attacking him. I tell you what, I will be ECSTATIC when both Henry and Show are out of the picture for Bryan. Then maybe he can actually start building towards being a believable heel champion. Right now it just feels a little forced, and as I said before, repetitive.
It says something, WWE, when your fans are talking about your competitor for almost the entire length of your show. STEP IT UP! All we want is for you to live up to all the potential you possess.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Impact 2-9-12
This week, TNA was still enjoying the tremendous pop of being out of the Impact Zone. However, I think someone needs to explain to them what it means to have a "themed" show. After promising us a Star Wars-themed Impact from England, the only thing Star Wars-related on this broadcast was Mike Tenay constantly hyping the promo that they eventually showed during the second hour. It was a disappointment to those of us expecting, say, Sting to come out with a lightsaber, or Velvet Skye dressed as Princess Leia. They could have done so much more with this, and yet they completely dropped the ball on it.
On the bright side, not once did I write the phrases "to the rescue!" or "Surprising no one." Creative seems like it has something new and different going on that makes me actually believe Hogan when he says the company is destined for greatness. Nay, it gives me A NEW HOPE for it (see what I did there, TNA? It's little things like that you could have added to the promos, but didn't). At this point, I'm finding I really want TNA to begin to succeed and make WWE step up their game, which, admittedly, has gotten rather lazy lately. TNA should be smelling blood right now, and they should be going after those ratings.
Enough of my rambling, let's get to the matches.
1. Christopher Daniels v. AJ Styles - 4 out of 5
2. Doug Williams v. Alex Shelley v. Austin Aries - 3 out of 5
3. Mickie James v. Velvet Skye - 4 out of 5
4. Bully Ray & Bobby Roode v. James Storm & Sting - 4 out of 5
Overall, I think I'd have to give this week's show a 4. Star Wars ball-dropping aside, it was fairly well put-together. It's nice to see them, for a change, not showing us the pay-per-view matches for two weeks before making us pay for them. THAT is how you make people want to buy it. Normally, we'd be seeing Kaz and AJ duking it out, but instead, they pitted AJ against Kaz's Lord and Master Christopher Daniels. Instead of giving us Tara v. Gail Kim, they had Kim attack Tara backstage, and gave us Mickie James turning heel against Velvet Skye. Instead of a three-way dance (since Jeff Hardy couldn't come with them to England) between the main competitors, they gave us a tag team match that didn't end with us wondering if the main event of Against All Odds would essentially be 2 v. 1 v. 1. Even Samoa Joe & Magnus came out looking like strong contenders for the tag team championships when they cut a promo against Crimson and Matt Morgan.
You know who didn't come out looking strong in this show? Garrett Bischoff. After revealing last week that Hogan was his new trainer, and after weeks and weeks of aggression between him and his father, the build-up for his match on Sunday against Gunner went like this: He and Hogan came down to the ring, Hogan talked instead of Garrett, and insisted that Garrett is the future of this company. Eric Bischoff and Gunner interrupted the promo, and they attacked. They threw Hogan down first, and then beat Garrett into a corner, kicking at him mercilessly until Hogan got up again, and literally single-handedly tossed them both out of the ring. Garrett did nothing this week that gives the viewers any confidence that he is what Hogan says he is. There's a long way to go yet to prove to us that Garrett has any business being in the ring other than that he's Eric Bischoff's son. We've all seen legend children come and go. Some of them deserve their time in the ring (Cody Rhodes comes to mind). But others clearly don't have the talent their famous relatives did. If they truly want to make Garrett Bischoff look like a contender, they need to give him more of a chance to show off his in-ring abilities. They could have been spending these last few weeks putting him in matches against some of the lesser-known talent, giving him wins to prep him for his big pay-per-view debut, instead of hashing out this, "I've been training" angle that has taken up so much time and has left viewers skeptical of his talents.
When there are only four matches on the card, it seems like it should be easy to pick a favorite match, but honestly I think Daniels v. AJ and the tag team main event tied for first place. Both matches were perfectly executed. When you put two people in the ring who used to be partners, there should be plenty of back-and-forth, playing off the fact that these guys know each other so well. Both of these matches had that going for them. Daniels is a terrific heel, and much as a lot of people are tired of this storyline with Kaz, I think he pulls the strings rather well. However, I will say that the star of the show tonight was none other that Mr. Calves himself, Bully Ray. He started the show with an angry demand to yell at Bobby Roode for not having his back last week (because Roode was ejected from ringside), a promo that was much shorter than expected and as a result was FANTASTIC. Later on, when he and Roode were backstage talking about being on the same page for the tag-team match, he went to shake Roode's hand, but Bobby insisted on a hug instead. Bully Ray obliged, but then cupped the champ's head in his hand and whispered in his ear, "Three days." Admittedly, this foreshadowed his turn at the end of the match, and the line of the night, "See you in three days, CHAMP." But it came across with the same solemn dread of a mafia don giving you a kiss on each cheek, essentially marking you for death.
This is, I think, the most I've ever had to say about an episode of Impact. It's a good thing. I only hope that they keep up this level of entertainment when they return to Florida next week.
On the bright side, not once did I write the phrases "to the rescue!" or "Surprising no one." Creative seems like it has something new and different going on that makes me actually believe Hogan when he says the company is destined for greatness. Nay, it gives me A NEW HOPE for it (see what I did there, TNA? It's little things like that you could have added to the promos, but didn't). At this point, I'm finding I really want TNA to begin to succeed and make WWE step up their game, which, admittedly, has gotten rather lazy lately. TNA should be smelling blood right now, and they should be going after those ratings.
Enough of my rambling, let's get to the matches.
1. Christopher Daniels v. AJ Styles - 4 out of 5
2. Doug Williams v. Alex Shelley v. Austin Aries - 3 out of 5
3. Mickie James v. Velvet Skye - 4 out of 5
4. Bully Ray & Bobby Roode v. James Storm & Sting - 4 out of 5
Overall, I think I'd have to give this week's show a 4. Star Wars ball-dropping aside, it was fairly well put-together. It's nice to see them, for a change, not showing us the pay-per-view matches for two weeks before making us pay for them. THAT is how you make people want to buy it. Normally, we'd be seeing Kaz and AJ duking it out, but instead, they pitted AJ against Kaz's Lord and Master Christopher Daniels. Instead of giving us Tara v. Gail Kim, they had Kim attack Tara backstage, and gave us Mickie James turning heel against Velvet Skye. Instead of a three-way dance (since Jeff Hardy couldn't come with them to England) between the main competitors, they gave us a tag team match that didn't end with us wondering if the main event of Against All Odds would essentially be 2 v. 1 v. 1. Even Samoa Joe & Magnus came out looking like strong contenders for the tag team championships when they cut a promo against Crimson and Matt Morgan.
You know who didn't come out looking strong in this show? Garrett Bischoff. After revealing last week that Hogan was his new trainer, and after weeks and weeks of aggression between him and his father, the build-up for his match on Sunday against Gunner went like this: He and Hogan came down to the ring, Hogan talked instead of Garrett, and insisted that Garrett is the future of this company. Eric Bischoff and Gunner interrupted the promo, and they attacked. They threw Hogan down first, and then beat Garrett into a corner, kicking at him mercilessly until Hogan got up again, and literally single-handedly tossed them both out of the ring. Garrett did nothing this week that gives the viewers any confidence that he is what Hogan says he is. There's a long way to go yet to prove to us that Garrett has any business being in the ring other than that he's Eric Bischoff's son. We've all seen legend children come and go. Some of them deserve their time in the ring (Cody Rhodes comes to mind). But others clearly don't have the talent their famous relatives did. If they truly want to make Garrett Bischoff look like a contender, they need to give him more of a chance to show off his in-ring abilities. They could have been spending these last few weeks putting him in matches against some of the lesser-known talent, giving him wins to prep him for his big pay-per-view debut, instead of hashing out this, "I've been training" angle that has taken up so much time and has left viewers skeptical of his talents.
When there are only four matches on the card, it seems like it should be easy to pick a favorite match, but honestly I think Daniels v. AJ and the tag team main event tied for first place. Both matches were perfectly executed. When you put two people in the ring who used to be partners, there should be plenty of back-and-forth, playing off the fact that these guys know each other so well. Both of these matches had that going for them. Daniels is a terrific heel, and much as a lot of people are tired of this storyline with Kaz, I think he pulls the strings rather well. However, I will say that the star of the show tonight was none other that Mr. Calves himself, Bully Ray. He started the show with an angry demand to yell at Bobby Roode for not having his back last week (because Roode was ejected from ringside), a promo that was much shorter than expected and as a result was FANTASTIC. Later on, when he and Roode were backstage talking about being on the same page for the tag-team match, he went to shake Roode's hand, but Bobby insisted on a hug instead. Bully Ray obliged, but then cupped the champ's head in his hand and whispered in his ear, "Three days." Admittedly, this foreshadowed his turn at the end of the match, and the line of the night, "See you in three days, CHAMP." But it came across with the same solemn dread of a mafia don giving you a kiss on each cheek, essentially marking you for death.
This is, I think, the most I've ever had to say about an episode of Impact. It's a good thing. I only hope that they keep up this level of entertainment when they return to Florida next week.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Smackdown 1-27-12
Before I get too much farther into my catching up, I always feel like I need to defend myself. This week has been extremely hectic with it being the end of the month (which means extra paperwork for me at work), and just as fair warning, there may be interruptions next week as well, as we will be relocating our home base somewhere closer to the water. I have been doing my best to at least keep up with my Twitter (@ajakitty) if nothing else, so I will try to keep that updated as the real-life story of Girls Watch Wrestling continues...
And now, Smackdown results!
1. Cody Rhodes v. Justin Gabriel - 3 out of 5
2. Sheamus v. Drew McIntyre - 2 out of 5
3. Primo & Epico v. Santino Marella & Yoshi Tatsu - 3 out of 5
4. Randy Orton v. Wade Barrett - N/A
5. Hunico v. Ted DiBiase - 2 out of 5
6. Brodus Clay v. Alex Riley - 2 out of 5
7. Aksana v. Natalya - 0 out of 5.
8. Big Show v. Mark Henry - 2 out of 5.
As you can see, we really could have stopped watching after the first half of the show. A lot of this weeks show I could have done without. Come on, WWE, I just adjusted my rating scale to include zero. That's how bad the whole Aksana/Natalya thing was. I mean, SERIOUSLY?? And prominently right in front of a B.A. STAR poster. This whole debacle just solidifies the fact that WWE no longer cares about their Divas division. The champion hasn't been on TV for weeks, and her partner is reduced to fart jokes. Eve, AJ, Rosa, and Aksana are little more than arm candy, and the rest of them may as well not even exist. I'm shocked that Vince hasn't just put them dancing in cages by now.
Being the last Smackdown before the Rumble meant a lot of things went nowhere. As in, nothing went anywhere. Nothing was advanced, and everyone I was talking to that night while watching were raging about what a lackluster show it was. They believe (and I agree with them) that the last show before a pay-per-view should be more exciting, get us hyped up, and make us want to buy. This Smackdown just made most of us want to change the channel.
And now, Smackdown results!
1. Cody Rhodes v. Justin Gabriel - 3 out of 5
2. Sheamus v. Drew McIntyre - 2 out of 5
3. Primo & Epico v. Santino Marella & Yoshi Tatsu - 3 out of 5
4. Randy Orton v. Wade Barrett - N/A
5. Hunico v. Ted DiBiase - 2 out of 5
6. Brodus Clay v. Alex Riley - 2 out of 5
7. Aksana v. Natalya - 0 out of 5.
8. Big Show v. Mark Henry - 2 out of 5.
As you can see, we really could have stopped watching after the first half of the show. A lot of this weeks show I could have done without. Come on, WWE, I just adjusted my rating scale to include zero. That's how bad the whole Aksana/Natalya thing was. I mean, SERIOUSLY?? And prominently right in front of a B.A. STAR poster. This whole debacle just solidifies the fact that WWE no longer cares about their Divas division. The champion hasn't been on TV for weeks, and her partner is reduced to fart jokes. Eve, AJ, Rosa, and Aksana are little more than arm candy, and the rest of them may as well not even exist. I'm shocked that Vince hasn't just put them dancing in cages by now.
Being the last Smackdown before the Rumble meant a lot of things went nowhere. As in, nothing went anywhere. Nothing was advanced, and everyone I was talking to that night while watching were raging about what a lackluster show it was. They believe (and I agree with them) that the last show before a pay-per-view should be more exciting, get us hyped up, and make us want to buy. This Smackdown just made most of us want to change the channel.
Impact 1-26-12
Did you catch Girls Watch Wrestling on the Squared Circle Jerks podcast on Friday? Mehe and I joined the boys to discuss this episode of Impact, and it was great fun! For the benefit of those of you who don't follow the podcast (and you really should - it's squaredcirclejerks.com) and didn't get to hear us coin the phrase, "Alcoholic Popeye", here's the text-version rundown:
"To the rescue!" - 1
"Surprising no one." - 1
1. Mickie James v. Velvet Skye v. Tara - 3 out of 5
2. Zema Ion v. Alex Shelley - 3 out of 5
3. Winter & Angelina Love v. ODB & Eric Young - 4 out of 5
4. Samoa Joe v. Matt Morgan - 2 out of 5
5. Jeff Hardy & James Storm v. Bully Ray & Bobby Roode in a tables match - 3 out of 5.
So.. Not really a lot to say about this episode. It seems like it would be easier to tell you about it in a Good/Bad kinda way.
The Good:
1. Tara won the triple-threat bout for #1 contender to the Knockouts title. I thought this was actually a good call for TNA because, let's face it, going in, we all expected Mickie James to win. She's a favorite for sure, but Tara is just as dominating a force, if not more so, and it was a refreshing break from all Mickie, all the time. No offense, Mickie.
2. EY & ODB continue to be the most entertaining thing the product has produced in recent weeks. They inexplicably play off of each other very nicely, and they work as a team even more nicely.
3. The main event, while not as good as it could have been, did have some good things going for it, creatively. Watching the match on TV, the teams were paired off much of the time, so to keep viewers at home from missing any of the action, they used a split screen effect. I made a lot of Carrie jokes at the time, but when the time came to grade the show, I had to admit that I really liked the way that was done.
The Bad:
1. TNA tried to do a little teaser for the Bischoff storyline, where Eric showed up to Garrett's gym and found out who his trainer was, and then ran away, SHOCKED! This side plot isn't particularly entertaining, and it's even worse considering that it's more than likely going to turn out to be Hogan. If it's not Hogan, I'LL be shocked. Just like Eric Bischoff.
2. While I love EY & ODB, the side-by-side airplane spins looked uncoordinated and messy when actually executed. To be more specific, Eric looked great. But ODB's spin was slow, clumsy, and not at all up to par with her partner's.
3. The AJ/Daniels/Kazarian promo this week was more of the same, and the story didn't go ANYWHERE. Here's an indication of how boring it was: near the end of the promo, the crowd started to count for no reason. Those poor people had to resort to entertaining themselves.
The Meh:
1. Bully Ray and Bobby Roode are trying too hard to be Bully Ray and Scott Steiner. They're fairly entertaining, but I think it would be more entertaining if they tried to find a new, unique dynamic between those two.
2. Samoa Joe lost again. Who cares.
3. Direct Auto Insurance. Get some.
"To the rescue!" - 1
"Surprising no one." - 1
1. Mickie James v. Velvet Skye v. Tara - 3 out of 5
2. Zema Ion v. Alex Shelley - 3 out of 5
3. Winter & Angelina Love v. ODB & Eric Young - 4 out of 5
4. Samoa Joe v. Matt Morgan - 2 out of 5
5. Jeff Hardy & James Storm v. Bully Ray & Bobby Roode in a tables match - 3 out of 5.
So.. Not really a lot to say about this episode. It seems like it would be easier to tell you about it in a Good/Bad kinda way.
The Good:
1. Tara won the triple-threat bout for #1 contender to the Knockouts title. I thought this was actually a good call for TNA because, let's face it, going in, we all expected Mickie James to win. She's a favorite for sure, but Tara is just as dominating a force, if not more so, and it was a refreshing break from all Mickie, all the time. No offense, Mickie.
2. EY & ODB continue to be the most entertaining thing the product has produced in recent weeks. They inexplicably play off of each other very nicely, and they work as a team even more nicely.
3. The main event, while not as good as it could have been, did have some good things going for it, creatively. Watching the match on TV, the teams were paired off much of the time, so to keep viewers at home from missing any of the action, they used a split screen effect. I made a lot of Carrie jokes at the time, but when the time came to grade the show, I had to admit that I really liked the way that was done.
The Bad:
1. TNA tried to do a little teaser for the Bischoff storyline, where Eric showed up to Garrett's gym and found out who his trainer was, and then ran away, SHOCKED! This side plot isn't particularly entertaining, and it's even worse considering that it's more than likely going to turn out to be Hogan. If it's not Hogan, I'LL be shocked. Just like Eric Bischoff.
2. While I love EY & ODB, the side-by-side airplane spins looked uncoordinated and messy when actually executed. To be more specific, Eric looked great. But ODB's spin was slow, clumsy, and not at all up to par with her partner's.
3. The AJ/Daniels/Kazarian promo this week was more of the same, and the story didn't go ANYWHERE. Here's an indication of how boring it was: near the end of the promo, the crowd started to count for no reason. Those poor people had to resort to entertaining themselves.
The Meh:
1. Bully Ray and Bobby Roode are trying too hard to be Bully Ray and Scott Steiner. They're fairly entertaining, but I think it would be more entertaining if they tried to find a new, unique dynamic between those two.
2. Samoa Joe lost again. Who cares.
3. Direct Auto Insurance. Get some.
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