Time to catch up!

We at Girls Watch Wrestling apologize for the delay in updates and want to reassure our readers that everything in our house and with our families. Luckily for us, we and our loved ones sustained minimal damage from the hurricane, and everyone is safe and secure.

To save everyone from a Wall of Text, I'm going to try to condense what we've missed as much as possible.

Due to the craziness that was Hurricane Preparation, Mehe and I both missed TNA Impact. I gather from the twitter feed that followed the next day, however, that Cookie has been released and has already lined up work elsewhere. Also, Kurt Angle apparently beat the fuck out of Gunner, and he reported that yes, he really needed 9 stitches. So there's that.

So, on to highlights from Smackdown! Bret Hart was the special guest GM last week, and he called Christian an embarrassment to Canada, with his hair wet (which he really really needs to not do at this point). Well, Christian had a note from his lawyer stating that no one would get a title shot before him, so Bret went ahead and booked him in a steel cage title match on SuperSmackDown tonight. After that, he beat Danial Bryan in a match.

Next up, Wade Barrett was faced with some local no-name, so he expressed his disrespect and exited the arena. After that, in what has become something of an infamous incident throughout the Internet Wrestling Community, Sin Cara beat Heath Slater. Apparently, this match was much more horrid than what we were shown and they had to go back twice to retape spots. Kinda sounds like NOFACE 2.0 is not working out much better than the original.

Ted DiBiase had a match against Orton, but the real star here was Cody Rhodes being absolute magic. First, he talked up some big words, and then when Ted was unable once again to come away with the win, he planted the Boy Wonder and put a paper bag over his head.

There was a Divas match. Worst one since the Divas of Doom reboot, because Kelly's opponent was Tamina, and apparently we're supposed to believe that Kelly's the more dominant athlete in this matchup. Kelly pounded on Tamina for several minutes before the legacy diva finally got some licks of her own in. Ultimately, though, Kelly got in her Five Moves of Doom. Probably this match was supposed to make Kelly look like a formidable competitor, but it only made me that much more hungry to see Nattie and Beth CRUSH HER.

Big Zeke beat Khali. Whoopi. Sheamus gave Mark Henry a taste of his own medicine and won their bout via countout. It made him look absolutely dominating. Mark Henry took out his frustrations on the announce table after he used it to regain his feet.

Meanwhile, on Monday Night Raw: HHH is still pissed about last week, but first! The Brand Extension is over! Starting immediately! Okay, enough of that, time for a game of Why, Nash, Why??? Punk joined in the game and demanded that the COO stop lying to HIM. Then Nash had what I'm told is the old NWO theme (yeah, I'm still working on my history lessons, I would not have pulled that one out by myself), and wore an apparently similarly nostalgic outfit. Turns out Laurinaitis gave him a job. Punk was disgusted... to say the least. He made some more jabs about Stephanie McMahon, and then reminded us once again about that whole "pipe bomb" thing when he went THERE. When you question your boss's... manliness, shall we say?... well, hey, he got what he wanted as the end result. Nash at Night of Champions.

Champion vs. Champion! Randy Orton took on Dolph Ziggler. The match was amazing, and it could be easy to skim over the small things, but I'm a bit of a Vickie mark, and I have to say two things about her screen time last night: First of all, it was very refreshing to have Vickie ringside and not hear ONE WORD from the commentators about her physical appearance. Secondly, she absolutely shined in her role as a manager. If she keeps up this amazing performance, there may be a spot for her in the Hall of Fame someday.

John Cena tried to call out ADR, but got Mark Henry instead. Then Christian joined. Then Sheamus balanced things out and the heels left. The main event for the night was born.

The Miz vs. CM Punk. Ohhhhh yes, my friends, I was a happy little fangirl to see those two in the ring together. Miz cut an AWESOME promo (which Punk yawned through) and then they got their game faces on. Looked like the match was over for Miz, but Miz didn't care about the win last night. His new friend R-Truth rushed to the ring to help him beat down Punk, and it wasn't long at all before Nash joined the party, and then ended it with a powerbomb.

NOFACE and his horrible mood lighting were in the ring with Jack Swagger. Vickie was observing again. 3 guesses how this turned out. Dolph got jealous, but this time he actually got up on the apron and started screaming insults at Swagger who instantly got rolled up by Sin Cara. After that, it was time for the rematch for the Tag Team Championship. Air Boom (dang, I so liked "Infectious") retained against Tag-Us, who took their frustrations out on Jerry Lawler's headset because he called them boring. Truth hurts, don't it boys?

The Bellas beat Kelly using Twin Magic. Thank God.

I, uh, fell asleep here. Sorry! I've been sick for awhile, and I'd taken something, and I finally lost consciousness just before the main event. I have been told, and have read, that John Cena and Sheamus beat Christian and Mark Henry when Cena pinned Christian. Also, after the match, apparently Trips told Punk that there was a change on the card for Night of Champions. Instead of Nash, Punk is going to be facing the Game himself.

One wonders if that has anything to do with that "panties" comment....

Metapost: Hurricane Irene

Due to hurricane Irene, I won't be updating until it's passed us. Godspeed to all!

Raw 8-22-11

Good morning wrestling fans! Let's jump right into it!

Raw begins this week with Ricardo Rodriguez announcing Alberto Del Rio! Sounds like he's beginning to add to the accolade again, but since his voice isn't actually BUILT for announcing, and I can't hear him over the music, I still have no idea if he's slipping crap past us English-speakers. Doesn't matter. Del Rio didn't even get a chance to give us his name before John Cena's music hit and the former perpetual champ came down to continue what he started last week. He accused Alberto of renting his cars (as well as not knowing what the hell any of them are), and introduced himself as the guy that was gonna take the belt from him.

Punk didn't waste any time in joining the party and generally berating John. Both men declared that they were going to cash in their rematch clause for the title. Del Rio laughed and declared he was ignoring him. Just about then HHH came out to settle the matter. The solution seemed like a pretty obvious one. John Cena and CM Punk get set for a #1 contender main event. Maybe that's a little misleading, but then I'm not sure the COO was super clear on it. The main event was to determine who was going to exercise his rematch clause FIRST. So, presumably, the loser of the match will get his rematch after Night of Champions.

Anyway, that was the end of the opening promo, and the first match of the night was up. Del Rio took on John Morrison in a surprising non-title match. Surprising because no one in the Girls Watch Wrestling home expected Del Rio's opponent to be Morrison. I'm beginning to realize that this is another point to the new regime. It's refreshing to give us these unexpected matchups rather than have the same two guys face off week after week after week. Also, Morrison's pants were fabulous. This match was pretty unpredictable, and not without incident. Del Rio took a fall from top rope to the floor at one point, and it just looked like his feet came out from under him. Not sure what happened earlier, when Del Rio just shoved Morrison down and into the barrier, but that spot felt odd to me too. Del Rio eventually locked in the cross armbreaker, and after the match, he grabbed Morrison outside the ring to apply it again.

Divas were early this week. Eve (with Kelly Kelly) beat Nikki Bella (with Brie). This one didn't quite work for me as well as other Diva matches recently. The first thing to note in this match is that the Bellas weren't dressed alike for once. That made me a little more interested in them as a team. It meant there was no chance of pulling Twin Magic. Actually, that's the only thing I can think of TO note. Near the end of the match, Brie attempted to interfere, which caused Eve to fall from the top of the corner, but Eve pinned Nikki anyway. The Divas of Doom walked out after to slow-clap the victory.

After last week's proposal from Jack Swagger, it looks like Vickie decided to put him to the test. His potential was to be showcased in a match against Alex Riley. A match that Swagger should have won, but for the distraction from Dolph Ziggler. Dolph made his way down the ramp mid-match to tell Vickie that she only needs one client, and that's him. Swagger tried to help Vickie up, but only ended up getting rolled up.

Time to play the Game again! Trips came out and claimed to have worked everything out with Nash over the last week. And to prove it, he called Nash out to the ring to corroborate his story. Nash told HHH he believes him about the text message. However, when it comes to Punk, the apology he was apparently going to give him was now out the window after the way Punk spoke to him. Triple H told Nash that he doesn't work for him and he can't be beating up his employees on his watch. Clearly he was trying to get this over with quickly, and he asked Nash to leave, but before the conversation could go very much further, CM Punk came out and joined them.

After referencing both Clue and Charlie Murphy's True Hollywood Stories (Punk is Rick James, bitch!), Punk accused Trips of having it in for him from the beginning. He also alleged that Stephanie McMahon was the one who sent the message. Triple H issued a verbal warning, but one more insult was all it took for Nash to boil over and lay Punk out. The COO and Nash both left the ring, arguing, while Punk looked positively giddy. Backstage, Trips urged Nash to leave, and Nash accused Trips of having changed since he took over the company.

It's time for a tag team match! "Tag-Us" (as I've come to call Otunga & McGillicutty) defended their titles against... Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne? I gotta be honest, I wasn't watching the beginning of this match. I had my glasses off and my head down, and was just being entertained by listening to Jerry Lawler talk about how the champs had no personality, and the only reason they've had the titles for so long is that they haven't defended them. I loved hearing that, but I was more than slightly amused by the entire commentary team using the term "tag team division" like there is one. The only reason I put my glasses on was because about this time, a stray cat showed up outside our place and our cat was sitting in the window totally losing his shit. But I'm glad I did put my glasses on. I am ashamed that I wasn't going to give that match a chance. Evan and Kofi worked very well together, actually. I guess that's why their our new tag team champions! Mehe wants to call them "Jungle Fever" for some reason...

Meanwhile, backstage, Johnny Ace found Triple H and told him that Nash had been in a bad wreck and taken to the hospital. Trips did the stupid thing and took off, leaving Ace in charge. Seriously? How obvious can this be?

Apparently, we were supposed to see Zack Ryder against Santino Marella next, but before Santino even made it to the ring, he was attacked by R-Truth and Miz. The Awesome Truth have decided to declare war on The Conspiracy and take back their main event statuses! Unfortunately, this segment ended with R-Truth rapping, although Miz backed him up with some extra "You Suck!"s (as opposed to "What's Up") and that ALMOST made up for it.

After a commercial break, it's Main Event time! Mehe commented that it seemed like a wise business decision to give us this match on pay-per-view twice before giving it to us for free on regular cable. Especially since this was better than the second pay match. Del Rio and Laurinaitis sat ringside for this one, Del Rio for obvious reasons, Ace... well, also for obvious reasons, to be honest. Come on, I'm just the recruit. If I can call the outcome, it's pretty freaking obvious. Before the match started, both men followed the traditional pre-match ritual of removing his shirt and throwing it to the crowd. John Cena's came back to him. Twice. The local crowd's mood didn't phase him, however (remember when getting booed really used to shake him up? I think he's getting used to it), and he had one more square, even match with CM Punk.

Well, almost even. At the end of the show, Kevin Nash showed up from out of nowhere with a microphone and just said "This isn't over." The distraction opened up an opportunity for John Cena, and the man took it. Looks like Cena gets his rematch first. I say looks like, because clearly there is legitimate gripe for Punk. With Mysterio out of the picture, I am still looking for a triple-threat match for Night of Champions. If not, then I think Punk gets to be special guest referee. Either way, I think HHH is gonna be super pissed next week.

Smackdown 8-19-2011

Well, well, well! Let's get into Smackdown!!

I am loving the new Levesque era. This Smackdown was the best Friday night I've spent in a long time. I grinned through a lot of it. And why not? I think there was a lot to grin about!

First of all, General Manager Teddy Long introduced the new World Heavyweight Champion, Randy Orton, and could he have BEEN any more excited about it? Christian is taking a vacation, so Randy had to come out and announce himself like Del Rio just to ask Teddy who his next target is. Well, we were to find out in the main event when 20 men would compete in a Battle Royal for the honor. In the meantime, Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase came out (yay! Legacy reunion!), and Cody announced that he was going to be competing in the match because while he, like Randy, wears gold, he's not satisfied with being mere IC champ. He then gave his manservant the microphone, allowing him to speak ("You've got a voice, Ted, use it."), but before Ted could get very far, Orton gave him the RKO mid-sentence. Too bad Ted was supposed to go up against Zeke next. Oh, well, Cody's there to take his spot!

Can we just stop for a minute and say how awesome Cody is in the ring? This match worried me, because Teddy Long declared that since it was Cody it was going to be for the Intercontinental Championship, I wasn't certain which way it would go. Thankfully, Cody ended the match with a Crossroads to finish Zeke off clean. Point #1 to the new regime, not wasting the talent of an amazing athlete and giving the belt back to the big man with muscles who just LOOKS impressive.

Next up was that Justin Gabriel video package again. Afterwards, he made his way to the ring to new music, looking very excited. He was in action against Tyson Kidd. This match made my night, seriously. Both competitors looked incredible, and made a great show of the match. Gabriel came out on top, but Kidd also managed to come out of it looking like a force to be reckoned with. Point #2 to the new regime, actually building up some of the incredible young stars that have been waiting hopelessly for their day in the limelight.

Apparently Teddy Long had instructed his assistant (WOO WOO WOO) to invite the undisputed WWE championship to the show last night. Zack mentioned that life was full of surprises, and Del Rio took up the invitation and came out to address the Smackdown crowd. He gloated for a bit before Daniel Bryan came out to call him generally boring (after all, he cashed in his briefcase just like everyone else has, ever), and challenge him to another match. Daniel Bryan, in case you didn't know, is such a NERD, he may have to beat the women off with a stick. Yet again, another incredible match from beginning to end. Del Rio, being the champion, came away with the win here.

Diva time! Kelly Kelly and A.J. took on Natalya and Alicia Fox. A.J. had some spiffy new blue gear (mama likey!), and surprisingly spent more time in the ring than the Diva's champion did. She definitely showed her improvement, and... wait, what is that I hear? Did the crowd actually POP for a DIVA'S match?? Point #3 to the new regime, giving the women more airtime and making people actually care about them again. Kelly pinned Alicia for the win, and afterwards, Alicia and Natalya had words that ended in Natalya laying her partner out flat outside the ring and throwing the sharpshooter on her.

God. Bless. Beth and Nattie. Beth and Nattie 4EVER. <3

Finally we get to the main event of the evening. Smackdown came back from commercial long enough so that we could see Randy Orton making his way down the ramp to sit ringside for the match, then went right back into a commercial again. Really? Did we need to see Randy that badly? You could have just continued the commercials straight through that and come back for the announcers to go, "And we have Randy Orton sitting ringside."

Anyway, the match. 20 men enter. Did it surprise ANYONE that Trent Baretta was first out? That kid seriously has a wing of the jobber hall of fame named after him at this point. Also not surprising that directly following him were Yoshi Tatsu, Johnny "Cheesiest Promos Ever" Curtis, and finally (Noooooooooo!) The Long Island Iced Z. Yeah, I was expecting Zack Ryder to get eliminated, I was just hoping maybe he'd last a little longer. One by one, guys were getting picked off, and at some point, Henry had slipped through the ropes and was outside the ring destroying the guys who were already out of the match! The Usos fell. The Great Khali. Ginder Majal. Cody & Ted. I held out hope as long as Wade Barret was in the match, but finally his number came up too. Then my only hope was Sheamus. When the last two men in the ring were Mark Henry and NOFACE! (that's Sin Cara to non-Spanish-speakers), I knew I had to finally admit that my boy was right, and this was to be Henry's night. I don't know what Sin Cara was thinking, that he could hurricanrana that big ass out of the ring, but he just ended up getting ragdoll-tossed to the floor.

Mark Henry can smell you, Orton. Maybe you should shower.

TNA Impact 8-18-2011

And just so I don't get too far behind, I wrote two posts, almost literally at the same time.

Impact starts with Sting in the ring. He's trying to call out Hulk Hogan, but gets... Ric Flair? Welcome back, Naitch!

Ahh, Ric Flair. Acting just as crazy as he ever was. He voiced his respect for Sting, and offered himself up in ONE MORE MATCH! Here's the catch, though: If Sting wins, Flair will give him Hogan. But if Sting loses, he has to retire. And not one of Flair's retirements.

After the commercial break, Hogan went crazy on Flair. If you listen to his words, apparently his problem is that he took everything he had out on Sting and he's still standing. Here in the Girls Watch Wrestling household, we think he was really pissed about his terrible extentions. Meanwhile, Flair continued to be crazy (drunk? high? old and senile?). Either way, he's confident that there's no way Sting can beat him. He really thinks Sting is on his way out.

Time for a Bound for Glory match! This time it's Big Poppa Punk vs. Devon! Devon wasted no time dropping Steiner for an early advantage, but a well-timed elbow caught Devon just off-guard enough for Scott to pin Devon. He used the ropes to help him, but the ref never caught it and Steiner picked up the points. After the match, Samoa Joe showed up out of nowhere and threw some kind of a submission maneuver on Devon. Devon's kids got up in the ring, and shortly after, Pope joined them. Joe left, looking incredibly smug.

During the break, apparently, Joe cut a monster promo. He vowed to continue to take out the Bound for Glory competitors until there weren't any left. He also said no one would stop him, and that no one in higher management had the balls to fire him. So there.

Next! A #1 Contenders Gauntlet for the X-Division Championship. First up: Alex Shelley, and Mark Haskins (we're not sure, either, but he's chosen a gimmick that's already being used by a certain Prince of Parkour). At any rate, he somehow picked up the win over Shelley and had to go up against Robbie E. Robbie was too busy arguing with Cookie, and got rolled up immediately, so Zima Ion got next pick of Haskins. Zima hit a nice splash to pin Haskins. Next up: Jesse Sorenson. Pins Zima. Anthony Neese is the next to come in. He's brutal, but Sorenson eventually picks up a win. Kid Kash is in! However, it's time for a commercial.

What a terrible time for a commercial!! However, my fingers are very glad for it, because this match is hard to keep up with!

Apparently, we didn't miss much during the commercial, as we came back to the same two guys. Sorenson somehow managed to pin Kid Kash, and then there were two: Austin Aires joins the fray! However, before the last bout can continue, Kid Kash plowed Sorenson into the mat! Aires thought the had it in the bag, but his casual pin was not enough and Sorenson kicked out. Wasn't too much longer, however, before Aires finally got the better of his opponent, becoming the #1 Contender for the X-Division Championship (in case you forgot through all that what the hell that whole mess was about). Afterwards, Aires acted like he'd been in the ring the whole time, and Kendrick came out to shake his hand in congratulations. When Austin just walked on without acknowledging the show of respect, Kendrick attacked him, and the fight still hadn't been broken by security when commercial broke.

When we came back, there was a quick recap of the Sting/Flair angle, and the commentators told us that the beatdown Anderson endured last week caused a rupture of both his eardrums and that he would be out indefinitely. After that, there was a promo for the Bound for Glory Pay-Per-View!

Backstage, it was clear that ODB was about to go up against Mickie James. She actually seemed excited, and acknowledged Mickie's talent. Jaqueline just quipped "she's not us." These girls gave it to us good. I'd even go so far as to say it's the best women's match I've seen in a long time. ODB threw Mickie outside the ring at one point, and Jackie resisted the urge interfere. Maybe that was a mistake for this pair, because a few minutes later, Mickey finally hit her DDT to pin ODB for the win. Afterwards, Jackie forced herself to offer a handshake. It will be interesting to see how this affects her relationship with ODB.

Meanwhile, Winter had a champion-gasm over her title backstage. She's pretty confident Mickie won't take it back from her.

It's time for another Bound for Glory match! Rob van Dam took on A.J. Styles. This match ended when Jerry Lynn pulled the ref out of the ring while Styles was pinning him. Earlier in the match, he'd argued with the ref about the speed of his counts, so this was all the official needed to call the match, and take another 10 points from Van Dam. Jerry Lynn pleaded that he was only trying to help. Van Dam told him he doesn't need any help. This friendship is going downhill fast, folks.

Flair went looking for Sting in a warehouse. There was a lot of scurrying and pipe-falling noises before Sting finally showed his face. Naitch acted like he didn't want to fight and then Gunner attacked Sting from behind! That blind ambush didn't last long, however, and Sting made quick work of him while Flair fled.

Eric Young wandered Los Angeles looking for Scott Baio. Looks like he's gonna find him next week!

Crimson limped his way to the ring after the beating he took last week. He called out Angle, and the champion obliged. (WTF was Angle wearing????) Crimson apparently took exception to the fact that Angle chose him as his first victim in his crusade to take out the young talent. Angle took credit for making all the young stars. He claimed that the young kids have no respect for him, but Crimson claimed that all the young talent has nothing BUT respect for Kurt Angle. Anyway, after all was said and done, the undefeated Crimson challenged Angle to a match next week.

Main Event! Mexican Amerca took on Beer money for the Tag Team Championship. Mexican America (THANK GOD) did not do their stupid little entrance dance. Jeff and Karen Jarret were at the announce table for this match, and I would LOVE to have heard the Spanish announce team when they came out. Beer Money had control of the match for the most part, until Rosita came in and spit at them. Karen and Jeff ran down from commentary to keep Beer Money from giving the girl what she deserved, and of course it all went downhill from there. End of story, Mexican America are the new tag team champs. *le sigh* Woo.

Monday Night Raw 8-15-11

Please forgive my delay on this post. Mehe brought home the crud from her job, and I caught it, or I would have had this up two days ago. Anyway, Monday night was, as expected, a night with a lot of talking, so let's talk about that.

The show started, just as Mehe predicted, with HHH. (damn you, Mehe, and your keen wrestling instincts. this is why you are the historian and I am just the faithful recruit) First of all, he apologized to Cena, as he found when he reviewed the tape that Cena was telling the truth, and his foot was on the ropes. He then went on to explain that Nash had asked him for skybox tickets, and that he had no idea what he was planning. Then he introduced the new WWE champion, Alberto Del Rio.

Del Rio, as expected, gloated. He said he couldn't resist the chance to cash in after Nash had run in (because that was such a coincidence). Then he told the San Diego crowd that he was going to crush their hero in their match later that night.

John Morrison and R-Truth had a falls-count-anywhere match, and R-Truth finally had music! Kudos to whoever did this awesome guitar instrumental version of "What's Up" because it is amazing and I am looking forward to hearing it for weeks to come. After the awesome revelation of the new music, the match commenced to take the competitors all over the audience and to the announce table before Morrison put Truth away.

Jared from Subway is in the front row! Miz took his #OvenCrispChickenSandwich (what is wrong with you Mizfits, not getting that trending on Twitter?? How could you let #replacebandnameswithpancakes continue to dominate??) and showed Jared how to sell a sub!

More Diva action. Woo. Kelly and Eve beat the Bellas. The only good part really was after the match (Oh, Kelly and Eve won, like that's a surprise. Or like you care), Nattie and Beth came out looking absolutely amazing, sarcastically slow-clapping the champ and her best bud.

Kevin Nash finally came out to tell his story. According to him, he got a text from HHH's phone telling him to take out whoever won the match. According to him, his actions were "just business." Well, you can imagine that Punk had something to say about that. The former champion wasn't mad at Del Rio for doing his job as the winner of Money in the Bank; he was pissed at Big Daddy Cool for his seemingly unprovoked attack. The two exchanged words, and Punk at least was ready to exchange punches, but a line of security blocked his path to the ring.

Jack Swagger took on Alex Riley while Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero sat at commentary. Dolph and Vickie were like an old married couple, and for some reason, halfway through the match, Vickie decided to steal JR's hat and head up to the apron. She distracted the ref and allowed Swagger to pick up the victory. Afterwards, Dolph stomped on JR's hat, and he and his manager left the arena. Later on, backstage, Swagger suggested that Vickie take on multiple clients, like all great managers before her.

YES. YES. A THOUSAND TIMES YES. A friend of mine a while back mentioned a planned return to more managers. I am hoping that this is the beginning of that. Pair it with Jimmy Hart's appearance at SummerSlam, and there's an awesome possibility there. It's not like they have any shortage of managers working backstage (or hell, in front of it, there are plenty of Divas that can't work and need something to be paid for).

Kofi Kingston & Evan Bourne beat Otunga & McGillicutty.

Finally, the billed main event: Del Rio vs. Mysterio. I was a bit worried, the show being in San Diego, but I forgot hometowns mean nothing these days, and in the end Del Rio successfully defended his title. He would have continued his beating on Rey, but John Cena rescued the pint-sized... you know what? I have no more cute nicknames for him. Moving on. While Punk isn't pissed at Del Rio, Cena is. He informed Alberto that he is now a target, and everyone in the back is now his enemy. Cena's speech was so powerful, the arena mouse ran away.

Now, about that four-way dance...

Epic Moments In Pro Wrestling, Part Two

Well, it's that time of the week where I like to look back at an Epic Moment in Pro Wrestling.  Come along, let's walk memory lane a bit, shall we?


Our stroll down the annals of history today takes us to 1996, and Hulkamania was running wild- as it should.  But this was WCW, not the WWF(E).

Hulk had been a hero to a generation of little kids who had grown into teenagers and young adults.  We still proudly wore our red and yellow, but we had really stopped taking our vitamins and maybe even saying our prayers.  To be honest, we may have been outgrowing our leader.

A few months prior to the moment in question, two guys from WCW's rival had started just showing up at their events.  Their names were Kevin Nash and Scott Hall.  They were threatening to turn the wrestling world upside down, but no one really believed them...

Then WCW's summer event, Bash at the Beach, occurred.  Nash and Hall had promised that the SECRET THIRD MEMBER of their invasion would be revealed.  They accepted a match between themselves and a randomly drawn team comprised of Lex Luger, Macho Man Randy Savage (may he rest in peace, forever and always), and the man called Sting.  Nash and Hall came to the ring without their SECRET THIRD MEMBER and proceeded to whoop Luger's butt so hard he had to be carted to the back.  (personal aside: I wonder if Luger ever looks back and shakes his head at his old self, knowing that he was the one who provided the pills that killed Miss Elizabeth- the Macho Man's exwife.)  Sting took Luger's place in the ring and absolutely dominated all over Scott Hall and tagged in Randy.  Savage at some point lost control of the match to Hall and Hall hit him coming off the top rope.  Nash tags in, and destroys Savage, then he proceeded to do the same to Sting.  Oh, wait, sting sting comes back with punches!  Go Stinger GOOO!... HOT TAG TO SAVAGE!!!  Axe handles a flying!...oh crap, a low blow to Savage.  Savage is down! Sting is down! Hall is too!  So is Nash!

The fans were screaming.  Cameras turn to the entrance to the arena.  OH MY GOD IT'S HULK HOGAN!!!! HE'S COMING TO SAVE THE DAY!!  All the Hulkamaniacs were on their feet.

Hulkster climbs the ring steps, tears his shirt and throws it in the crowd.  Hearts were swelling, emotions were boiling, the crowd was on their feet.  The ring cleared as Nash and Hall headed for high ground.  Savage was still on the mat, groaning from the earlier low blow...

Then, the unthinkable happened.

Hulk Hogan dropped a leg on Savage.

Hulk Hogan had turned on us all.

Hulk... was the third man.

It couldn't be.

No.

Hogan pinned Savage.

Hulk Hogan pinned Randy Savage, and joined the Outsiders.

The Hulkster then proceeded to cut the most epic promo of all time.  I'm not going to reproduce it here, I'm certain you can find it online if you use your google-fu.


You know what really made this an Epic Moment of Pro Wrestling? It wasn't the deed itself... though that was pretty damned epic.  It wasn't the crowd, though they were electrified as they had never been before.  It wasn't even the looks of astonishment that were clearly etched on every little Hulkamaniac as Hogan spewed forth venom that we'd never heard before.

It was the efforts of the commentators.  It was the complete and utter disbelief that resonated through Tony Shiavone and through Dusty Rhodes, along with the elation that Bobby Heenan intoned when finally he was proven right after all the years of warning everyone that Hulk really had this in him.  Without them, this moment wouldn't have been as over the top.  It was the sadness on the face of Mean Gene Okerlund as he held the microphone Hogan was spinning his diatribe into.

As the ring filled with debris, as the children started to cry, and as my own heart started to grow thorns where before there had only been blind belief in my heroes, Tony said it all in one short sentence.

"Hulk Hogan, you can go to hell.  We're out of here."

Just like that, Hulkamania died.  Not forever, but for a very long time to come.




Looking back now, as a thirty year old now fifteen years removed from that night, it still hurts a little to go back and watch it.  I still feel the betrayal that I felt that night sitting amongst my parents and their friends.  I still feel the small bubble of rage boil up inside, and I still want to shed a tear- not only for Hulkamania and things that will never be the same again (aside, again: anytime I utter that sentence in my head, I hear Chris Jericho say it.), but for the fans that will never have that blind trust, for the ones who watched alongside me and had their hearts broken, and for pro wrestling itself.  Never again shall a moment in wrestling ever hit with that kind of sledgehammer blow.  Never again will any fan in my generation blindly follow where we're being led without questioning whether or not the one doing the leading will stab us in the back for a paycheck so large the amount of zeroes would make our heads spin.

This is Mehe, signing off for now.




P.S.  As I was typing this up, my Pandora radio station played "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)".  Coincidence or very scary artificial intellegence? You decide.

SummerSlam!!!!

Well. SummerSlam. Certainly NOT what I was expecting.

As you've no doubt gathered from Mehe, we were less than thrilled with the results of the show. That being said, let's look at the meat to that gravy: The Matches!

SummerSlam started with a surprise 6-man tag. Miz, R-Truth, and Alberto Del Rio teamed up against Morrison, Rey Mysterio, and Kofi Kingston. To be honest, this match probably really should have just been ADR vs. Mysterio, because these are the guys that were really there to be showcased. Then again, considering the twist ending to the night, the tag-team scenario makes sense, because we'll be seeing those guys tonight. In the end, R-Truth got got by Mysterio... and did anyone else notice the way Rey teabag-pinned Truth? That was just the ultimate insult to the conspiratorial injury.

Backstage, Punk sarcastically apologized to Laurinaitis, who demanded to know that the shot Punk took on Monday wasn't aimed at him. After that, Steph showed up (for the record, I marked like a little girl. I really hope I didn't hurt Mehe's ear the way I squealed)!! She wished Punk luck, and informed him that the rest of her family wished him luck as well. She offered to shake his hand, but he knows where that hand's been.

An aside here, between that jab, and the "I'm sure Steph has my number" comment from ComiCon, I think it would be hilarious to have an angle where it comes up that Punk and Steph had a fling at one point. I don't have extra details for this one, I just think it would be funny, because I think it's already set up.

Mark Henry beat Sheamus via countout. Henry took Sheamus outside the ring and plowed him through a barrier. Sheamus tried to crawl back to the ring, but he didn't quite make it back in time. However, he was not completely destroyed, so expect this rivalry to build.

Wade Barret beat Daniel Bryan. *sigh* There were some great reversals in this match, but it didn't really pop like it should have. Both competitors powered out of their opponent's finishers during the course of the match, but eventually Wade was able to hit the Wasteland to pin Bryan for the win.

C-Lo Green Performed. The Divas came out in their little red dresses and danced and had the time of their lives. Sooooooo.... yeah.

Diva's Title Match! I mentioned I was looking forward to this match. Maybe it was too much to hope that Beth Phoenix actually take the belt from SuperGirl. This match was better than Diva matches has been, but the pretty little girls have a long way to go before the fans will be satisfied. Kelly tried a couple new moves finally, and she managed to make it through half the match before she started screaming. However, I still found myself more interested in wondering if Kelly's outfit was gonna fall off. Seriously, that thing looked hastily thrown together and about two stitches from falling off at any minute.

Moving onto Randy Orton vs. Christian! Easily the best match of the night. The no-holds-barred bout started with Christian gloating that Edge would be in his corner that night. Edge looked excited to be making his entrance just one more time. He also looked like he felt great, complete with a fresh new haircut! However, things didn't work out for the champ when Edge called him a whiny little bitch and left him to throw his tantrum. Orton and Christian then proceeded to top their Money in the Bank match, complete with trash cans, tables, kendo sticks, and stairs in the ring. Also, the Spanish announce table actually collapsed! Orton improvised nicely with a broken table. Christian looked like he might have gotten out of the match with his title but then he decided it was a good idea to spit in Orton's face again. Pro Tip: it wasn't. Orton RKO'd Christian onto the stairs and took home the gold.

Meanwhile, in the other main event, the crowd was brimming with anticipation for the undisputed WWE Championship match. Sadly, the magic from Money in the Bank wasn't quite with them. There was plenty of back-and-forth grappling and plenty of reversals. And Punk showcased his skills selling submission maneuvers. Triple H, for his credit, called the match right down the middle... right up until he somehow missed Cena's leg on the ropes as Punk pinned him for the win. Cena tried to tell him after that fact, but Trips just apologized and held his decision. Cena left the ring, dejected.

But wait! That's not all! After Cena left, Punk continued to celebrate in the ring. Trips made it almost all the way up the ramp, and I finally decided to write down the points (because I wasn't convinced until then that the decision would stand). While I was looking down, Punk got run down by a Mac Truck named Diesel. Trips looked confused, and began to make his way back to the ring, but before he got very far Del Rio showed up to cash in his briefcase! The bell rang, and in a few seconds, the Mexican Aristocrat finally fulfilled his destiny.

I'm calling it now: Night of Champions features a fatal 4-way for the WWE championship: John Cena vs. CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio (or, as my boyfriend calls him, The Chihuahua).

So, there are plenty of people tonight who will have plenty to talk about. Cena and Punk will need to gripe. Del Rio will need to gloat. Beth Phoenix will need to bitch. HHH will need to be generally annoyed. And the girls of Girls Watch Wrestling will need to hear every. single. word.

Let Me Sleep On It

Ok, so I slept about five hours before I got woken up by a horrendous coughing storm.  Now it's too late to go back to sleep before I go back to my real job.  How to spend the time?

Blogging, of course!

Five hours of sleep means we're now six hours removed from SummerSlam 2011, and I can be just a little more objective about the August pay per view.

Let me say this now: I still don't think it was great.  However, I do have a revised opinion of a couple of things.  Like, that ending.  It was convoluted, sure.  It was messy.  I was disappointed that C.M. Punk didn't get to take his title home and put it in the hotel fridge.  That being said- who'd have thought Kevin Nash'd show up.  I don't think anyone saw that coming.

Many people have complained recently about the predictability of the WWE lately.  Well, that pay per view was anything but.  I don't think I've ever gone a whole show and not gotten one single match right.  And you know what? I like that.  I appreciate the feeling that I no longer know what's going to happen.  It's exciting.

This is Mehe, signing off for now.

One More Thing

You know, earlier this week, I posted a Tag Team Focus on Money Inc.  Tonight on SummerSlam, they got a shoutout.  I like to think this is not a coincidence.  I know it is, but let a girl dream!!!!

Definitely NOT The Greatest Party of the Summer

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT SHIT?!

With every one of my results being wrong, I am severely miffed right now. (Technically I got Punk-Cena right, but a fat lot of good that did.)

That pay per view had a lot to live up to in terms of it's predessor, and it failed miserably.

The matches weren't that great.  Kelly Kelly beat Beth Phoenix? AM I IN BIZARRO LAND HERE?!  Barrett vs Bryan was all right; and it was nice to see Miz, Kofi, and R Truth get appearances in.

Match of the night?  Orton v Christian.  Seriously.  Those two brought it.  They brought it and then they brought it some more.  I'm not pleased to see the title back on Orton for the umpteenth time, but hey, it made the crowd happy.

You know what didn't make the crowd happy? Del Rio. I'm not saying the angle's dead now, but man, I felt some steam go out of it with that finish.

And speaking of that finish...Kevin Nash had better have a damned good reason for showing up and destroying C.M. Punk.  And he'd best have it tomorrow night.  I want answers, and I want them now!

I'm extremely disappointed my main man Sheamus got the loss in the match against Mark Henry, but I get a feeling that story isn't over yet either.


Anyway, I give SummerSlam 11 one ice cream bar out of five, because of Nash.
Otherwise, it'd be no ice cream at all.  As we know, we want our ice cream.

This is Mehe, signing off for now.

SummerSlam 2011: The Greatest Party of the Summer?

Its 6 o'clock EST.  Two hours til showtime!

I'm not excited.

Not at all. Why?

There's just five matches planned, that's why.  I know Jim Ross let slip on his twitter that there might be surprises coming, but let's be honest- this is supposed to be the second biggest pay per view of the year, right behind WrestleMania.  There's talk that Cee Lo Green has ninety minutes set aside for his 'concert'.  That's an hour and a half.  An HOUR AND A HALF.  Please, correct me if I'm wrong, but the majority of fans watch these pay per views for the WRESTLING, not some concert.  Didn't the WWE learn anything from the Kid Rock debacle at WrestleMania 25.  His set went on way too long and completely overshadowed the 25-diva battle royal that followed it.  It was terrible.  I predict nothing less for this 'concert'.

That being said, let's take a look at the card, shall we?

Daniel Bryan vs. Wade Barrett: A go-home addition to the card, this match has promise.  Both Bryan and Barrett are good workers in the ring.  Erm... well, Bryan is a great worker in the ring but for some reason the WWE only wants him to be mediocre at best.  Barrett has shown vast improvement since the Nexus debuted last year.  He is light years ahead of the rest of the former stable, and I truly feel he's gonna be a breakout star in the next year.  One can only hope, at least.  Bryan'll win this one, probably by the skin of his teeth.

Kelly Kelly (the Divas Champion) vs. Beth Phoenix:  I have extremely high hopes for this match.  I want to see Beth wipe the floor with Kelly.  I want to see a strong Diva (I almost typed knockout, ha ha) with the TrampStamp Title.  Beth is by far the best WWE Diva under contract today.  Sorry, Nattie.  She's strong, sexy, talented, and able to use a microphone.  She also does not look like she needs to make a trip to the catering table at least twice a day.  She's a real woman.  And I like that.  I predict Beth wins the match, and begin a new strong Diva era.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry:  Personal bias here.  I want to see Sheamus win this, cause he's dead sexy.  He's got everything going for him, and if by the grace of whomever's watching over me I ever get a chance at him, I'm so taking it.  Besides my personal bias, Smackdown is lacking in a strong babyface character at the moment, and Sheamus can be that man.  He's got everything he needs to do it- mike skills, talent, good looks.  Exceedingly hot good looks.  LET'S GO SHEAMUS.  DO IT FOR IRELAND.  DO IT FOR YOUR FANGIRLS.  (Oh, and if there are any other Sheamus fangirls reading this, let me know.)

Christian (World Heavyweight Champion) vs. Randy Orton:  This match could really go either way and the crowd will go home happy.  If Orton wins, the crowd gets their beloved Viper back with gold, if Christian wins, they get to boo the bad guy out of the arena.  I'm a little reticient to make a prediction for this, but I'm gonna go with Christian.

C.M. Punk (WWE Champion) vs. JHERRRRRRNNNNNN CEEEEEENAAAAA (WWE Champion):  YOu know, I'm looking forward to this match most of all.  There's massive momentum heading into this.  C.M. Punk has the disillusioned Voiceless in his corner and his pocket.  He knows that John was right on Monday.  He needs this match.  He needs to win.  Because the typical WWE fan is fickle.  They'll jump right back on the JOHNCENABANDWAGON as soon as John wins a match against Punk.  and Cena?  Cena needs this match, too.  He might already have his WrestleMania 28 opponent inked, but what if his fans turn on him before then?  Who'll care about Cena then?

There's one element in this match that I didn't mention, the special guest referee.  The COO of the WWE, Mr. Haiches (thanks to R-Truth).  Haiches has an agenda here, and anyone who thinks he's not going to pull some hijinks is fooling themselves.  When has a special guest referee ever called a match straight down the middle?  HHH is going to interfere somehow, and when he does, it's going to backfire on him.

The wildcard in this match is John Lauranitis.  He's been punched in the face by Cena and kicked in the head by Punk.  There's no way he's going to sit quietly on the sidelines while this match is contested.  To quote a theme, there's no chance in hell.

I'm giving this match to C.M. Punk.  He's riding so high right now he can't afford to lose.  I don't think he's going to win clean.  I don't think he cares, either.  A win is a win, and no matter what, Punk is a winner.

This is Mehe, signing off for now.

TNA Impact 8-11-11

So did I mention that this is the first time since I really started following TNA that I've been excited to tune in to see what happens next? The fallout from pay-per-view shows has probably always been my favorite part of pro wrestling, and since there were some things I really enjoyed about Hardcore Justice, there was definitely something to be seen this week.

The show started, as it does every week, with Immortal, and more specifically, Bully Ray, making their way to the ring because he's got some stuff to get off his chest. He's got a big chest, so I guess it's justifiable that there's always something on it. He started with Abyss, chewing him out for losing the six-man tag for Immortal, and telling him that he's in hot water with the boss. That lasted all of about thirty seconds before he turned his attention, as everyone expected, towards Ken Anderson. It seemed at first that he was going to be chivalrous, calling Ken a "Tough SOB" and stating that he'd underestimated his opponent. Of course, it being Bully Ray, he completely fucked up any redemption he might have had by being cocky and stating that he was a better wrestler. Ken was understandably suspicious when Bully Ray tried to shake his hand (after all, last time he shook hands with this guy, he ended up with a knee to the gut), and instead of accepting a truce, responded by punching him in the face. With the rest of Immortal in the ring, you can imagine how well that turned out for poor Ken, and he ended up being carted out on a stretcher with blood trickling from his forehead. Ohhhhh, there's more. But that's later in the show.

Bischoff had some words for Immortal backstage. He promised Bully Ray he'd never go against his recommendations again, and then he berated Abyss for his loss. Standard stuff, really.

Mickie James and Madison Rayne had a #1 contender's match for the Knockout's title. Madison tried every trick in her pretty little girl book, but Mickie wasn't falling for it. At the end, Mickie put on Madison's tiara and finished her off for the win.

Brian Kendrick had a match. With Robbie E. Kendrick came out wearing those same stupid pants that he was wearing on Sunday. It's like he slept in his gear, cuddling his championship belt, and then woke up an hour before the show and went, "Crap! Well maybe if I shave it'll look like I cleaned up." Really, though, he just looked like a 12-year-old who had just discovered Sabu's closet and the art of tailoring all in the same day. Wasn't a good result. Neither was the match, for Robbie. Cookie thought she'd damn the man and spray hairspray into Brian Kendrick's eyes, but Brian ducked and she ended up nailing Robbie instead. Needless to say, Robbie lost, and afterwards, he and Cookie fell out backstage. Good! Now maybe Cookie can get a less awkward story that doesn't involve the Jersey Shore and her complete lack of an accent.

Bound for Glory was a six-man tag match. That is, 2 vs. 2 vs. 2. One of those teams was Pope and Devon. After Hardcore Justice, Devon and Pope only seemed to be about a page closer to each other, just enough to keep it interesting. They were up against Beer Money, AJ Styles, and RVD, and it didn't end in their favor. Bobby Roode pinned the Pope, and Devon looked disappointed by the result.

Kurt Angle explained his heel turn. Apparently Dixie Carter knew about what was going on between Jeff & Karen and lied to him? So now he's on a roaring rampage of revenge. Oh, yeah, and Hogan's the one who told him all that. They laid the smackdown on Sting together. Oh, and Angle vowed to start taking out all the new young talent one by one.

Tara and Tessmacher had a match against Jackie & ODB. This match was a test by Bischoff to see if the latter pair deserved their jobs back. It was going alright till ODB lost her temper. Jackie lost focus on the match to try to remind her why they were there, and the distraction allowed the Knockout Tag champs to take away the victory. Also in this match, an awesome superplex performed by Tara on ODB. As a matter of fact, it was the Direct Auto Insurance Impact of the Night.

Bischoff has the stars of the X-Division in his office. The X-Division is back! And it has a weight limit so that Abyss can't take them out. Eric isn't happy about that. I think the fans would disagree. Yay!!!

Jeff and Karen came out and brought with them "Jose" and "Jos-b." They were hoping to get these guys to say "Jeff Jarret is the King of Mexico" but they didn't speak English. They understood the concept of royalty, however, and when they spotted Hector Guerrero on Spanish commentary, they declared (in Spanish, of course) that the Guerreros were the only true kings of Mexican wrestling, even calling their names. All of them. Jeff became annoyed and attacked them, but Hector came to their rescue with a chair. My boyfriend commented that Hector was the classiest of the Guerreros.

Apparently there was a segment here involving Eric Young. I swear I was paying attention. I do not remember this.

Ken Anderson returned to the Impact Zone. It looked like he'd turned to the undead before he made it to the hospital and had escaped from his ambulance. He was looking for revenge on Bully Ray, but he ended up getting some more abuse from Bully and Gunner instead. That segment ended with the camera on a wall with only the sound of Anderson's screaming. Now, I'm only gonna say this once, because I think it would be awesome and beautiful and Ken could totally pull it off:

I. Want. A. Zombie. Angle. Find a suitable substitute and keep the "blood off the forehead look" and just have him shamble around dazed, forever. Either he abandons his regular entrance, or he modifies it. When he grabs the mic, he lets out one, long, loud, painful groan, followed by a shorter, angrier grunt. When he wins a match, he ends by biting his opponent, either in the shoulder, or the leg, or in the case of Bully Ray, right on top of the head. The opponents scream and run in fear. Obviously, this man has lost his mind! Meanwhile, Ken kneels (or squats, or sits) in the middle of the ring, grinning with the taste of flesh!!!

/fangirl

Okay, back to the actual show. The main event for the night was a Bound for Glory match between Crimson, Bully Ray, Scott Steiner, and Gunner. Obviously, this doesn't look good for Crimson, since it's basically 3 on 1. In the end, however, Crimson came out on top and pinned Gunner for another 7 points. The victory didn't last long, though. Kurt Angle made good on his threat from earlier and starting beating Crimson... with his shoes!!! He didn't stop there, though, and ended the show in the ring, the ankle lock firmly locked in place.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm missing SmackDown!!

Tag Team Focus: Money Incorporated

You know, something I dont like about the current WWE product is their total de-emphasis on the Tag Team Division.  It's being treated like a place to shunt the stars they want to feature but don't know what to do with.  Case in point: Tag Team Champions David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty.

I miss a time when there were real tag teams, tag teams with names.  People who weren't just partnered together for the hell of it.  Teams like The Road Warriors (or if you prefer, the Legion of Doom), teams like The Hart Foundation, teams like The Rockers.  And teams like Money Incorporated, or Money Inc. for short.

Money Inc was comprised of "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase and Irwin R. Shyster.  They were managed by Jimmy "Mouth Of The South" Hart (and boy, can you name me a more beloved and despised manager in the eighties than him?) and they were AWESOME.

The Million Dollar Man had for years debased fans by paying them money to do demeaning tasks (RVD, I'm looking at you.)  He'd had his own personal championship title created.  I remember he picked it up from the maker wearing a Dracula cape.  But...what is a millionare without his loyal accountant?  That's where I.R.S. comes in.  He was an EEEEVIL tax-man, and I can only assume he kept the Million Dollar Man from having to pay his taxes.  This team was gold.  They worked together like an oiled machine, and won tag team gold on three separate occasions.  Ted is now a member of the WWE Hall of Fame, and Irwin works for the company as a road agent and occasionally makes appearances as a guest in comedy bits.

These are the kinds of matches I miss, the quick tags in and out, the two team members meshing with each other, and the matches themselves feeling almost main event caliber.  

Sadly, Money Inc. wasn't to last past 1993. Ted retired from active competition, and Irwin went on to defeat stream after stream of jobbers on Monday Night Raw.  Oh, and there was the one time that he feuded with Tatanka over unpaid taxes on a sacred headdress.

I'll focus on other tag teams at a later date, but for now, just let me say... MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEEEEEEYYOOOOOOO.


This is Mehe, signing off for now.

I got an 808 Raw

It's Thursday!!! I have to say, this is the most excited I've been to tune in to TNA since I've started watching (which, as I mentioned, hasn't been long). But before we have that tonight, and Smackdown tomorrow, and Summer Slam on Sunday, I should probably prevent myself from getting too far behind!

So, let's talk Monday Night Raw, shall we?

The plot thickens in the Cena/Punk rivalry! HHH announced that he can't trust anyone but himself, so he's decided to appoint himself the special guest referee in the undisputed championship match on Sunday. What about the rest of us, Trips? Do you think we trust you? I trust Mr. Helmsley about as far as I can throw him... which basically means, if I trust him, I hurt myself and end up needing a chiropractor. Cena must feel the same way, because he had some words to exchange with the new McMahon as he entered the ring for his match. The response?

"Whatever happens in that match, it'll be because I want it to happen."

Well, that's not making us feel any better about this potential abuse of power.

After that, Cena beat Jack Swagger. Predictable, but it still made me sad. Yes, I like Jack Swagger. No, I don't know why. By the way, I know I'm not the only one who's waiting for Jack to start carrying a sport's almanac with him to the ring.

I missed a lot more of the next bit of Raw than intended. Went to grab some grub, got parked and forgotten about, and as a result, I completely missed Miz destroying Rey Mysterio (DAMMIT!) and Kofi Kingston. Which would have been fine, but I also missed Punk's victory over Alberto Del Rio (DOUBLE DAMMIT!).

The Divas continued to work hopefully towards a new era of women's wrestling in the WWE. Beth Phoenix came out on top to beat Wonder Woman--I mean Eve! She followed by beginning to cut another heel-tastic promo, but she made the mistake of exiting the ring first, and was quickly ambushed by SuperGirl--I mean Kelly! (There are a lot of superheroes in the WWE by the way, have you noticed? I'm still trying to decide who Beth Phoenix is, but I'm starting to think she should be carrying at Boom Stick.) As a girl who loves wrestling and has lamented the decline of the Diva's division, I'm hoping that Beth and Kelly can carry a halfway decent match on Sunday. I fully expect Beth to devour Kelly, of course--if her ears don't start bleeding from all the screaming.

Dolph "Perfect 2.0" Ziggler took on Alex Riley in what should have been a no-brainer. But for some reason, Vickie got involved, Dolph got disqualified and the two began to argue. HOORAY!!! I'm probably the only person in the world who thinks this, but I want to see Vickie turn face. Probably, however, it'll be Dolph that turns, leaving Vickie open to manage another hot new heel. Maybe she can team up with Riley and make him as interesting as his theme music!

R-Truth vs. John Morrison. I love that R-Truth is running with the whole arachnophobia thing, because how many times have the commentators called Morrison Spiderman? Mehe picked Truth in our fantasy draft this year, and at first I scoffed at her. The first time she got points off him, I was in disbelief. Now, I can't even believe her luck. Kudos to you, and your "feelings," Mehe. I may have to trade in for him after this Sunday.

And then there was the main event: the contract signing. Cena and Punk traded "The Reason You Suck" Speeches for a while, and eventually they got around to actually signing the damn thing. Punk's been hot as of late, and I love it, and I am rooting for Punk, but dammit all I have to give Cena his due. He's always been able to talk. Ever seen his early backstage promo as The Prototype? It was clear then that he had that particular skill pretty well under his belt. We keep forgetting that he's supposed to be the FACE in this situation because we're all so enamored with the supposed bad guy. But Punk isn't the Lex Luthor to John Cena's Superman. He's Batman. It's just a matter of taste, and I've always been a Batman kinda girl anyway.

Oh, right, the contract signing. Punk called Cena a failed bodybuilder, Cena called Punk a one-hit wonder, and then they both decided that the only way they could truly express their emotions was the simplest basis of the company: physical violence. John Laurinaitis recieved a misaimed blow, HHH got between them, and it all ended with Punk being justifiably paranoid that the new COO is in Cena's corner. I gotta tell you, kids, I really don't have any idea what to expect on Sunday when it comes to these guys.

Watch that HHH dude, though. He seems shady.

Hardcore Justice!

And so joins the other half of this dynamic duo...

Ali. Unashamed fangirl. Or, as Mehe and I determined earlier, the Jerry "The King" Lawler to her Jim Ross. (PUPPIES!!!!!)

Several months ago, I finally sat down and watched a whole episode of TNA Impact! I texted Mehe during the show to ask her if they were always this passionate. Turns out, they are. It was very jarring to me, and as a matter of fact, the only TNA I watched after that was to tune in the night after the infamous Sting/Hardy match to see how they were gonna treat that incident. I tuned in, they immediately buried Jeff, and I tuned out again. I wasn't able to watch again until my boyfriend clued me in on HOW to approach this company. "You can't watch it for the story," he told me, "But the wrestling is amazing."

He was right. I watched the very next week, and I was just in time for the buildup to Destination X. Even though at the time I had no idea who half these guys were, I watched that. So I've been following for about a month and a half. Hardcore Justice (SING IT) was this past Sunday. So! In order:

X-Division title: First of all, what the hell was Kendrick wearing? Actually, I have to admit that I have no other outstanding thoughts from this match. When Kendrick won, I turned to Mehe and asked, "Does this mean it's Hammer Time now?"

Knockouts Tag: I love Tara. I've finally gotten used to referring to her as Tara. Rosita and Sarita... don't know much about them, but I do have to say that I really hate that little dance they do as part of the Mexican America entrance. It just looks lazy and uncoordinated. Maybe if the girls were closer to the same height. Or seemed to have any kind of fire that you normally expect from a performer appearing from backstage. You know what? I don't think I would like it even then. Moving on, I'm told that Sarita has something or other going on with her face. Still, that mask was frightening. She looked like something out of a slasher film! Which again, would probably work better if Rosita wore a mask too. Perhaps to support her partner?

BFG: The Pope v. Devon: I like this rivalry going into the match. The thing I like about it is that, unless I'm completely missing something, there's no real clear villain. Pope is just trying to be friendly, and Devon is just playing the overprotective father. When the match began, Pope was doing all he could to lay down for Devon and let him have the points. Since Devon was having none of it, he started going through the motions of having a match, and by the end, he was really wrestling and even came away with the win. He looked sad to have had to do it, but on the other hand, Devon actually looked impressed that he took the effort. I have to say I am probably most looking forward to seeing how this one plays out on Thursday.

Knockouts Championship: My first taste of Mickie James was her whole fangirl story with Trish over on WWE. I liked her then, and I like her now. So sue me. I'm also growing fond of Winter, so this was another match I was looking forward to. I was a little distracted by Mickie's hair (seriously, not sure what she was going for, but I don't think it panned out), but I honestly wasn't sure what to expect of the outcome. It didn't disappoint. Winter ended up going full Muta on Mickie and taking the title from her. A little distraction by Angelina Love probably didn't hurt.

BFG: Crimson v. RVD: This match happened. Jerry Lynn ended up costing RVD the match and actually lost him 10 points. I think this brought us up to speed on the rules of the scoring finally. I would say more about this match, but honestly Mehe and I spent most of the time talking about RVD's awesome ass and thighs and the terrible things we would do to them if we ever got hold of them. You know, the usual.

Fortune v. Immortal: You know what? Not gonna lie. Don't remember this one at all. Not even sure if we were still talking about the Jerry Lynn interference or what. Complete mystery.

Bully Ray v. Ken Anderson: THE grudge match of the show. Also included the best spot of the night. While Anderson was doing is regular entrance, Bully Ray showed up behind him and smiled smugly at the thought of ambushing him. Didn't work out that way. After his first "MISTER ANDERSON" he followed immediately with, "Yeah I know he's behind me" and proceeded to lay out Bully Ray. Not only that, once his foe was suitably subdued, he took the time to grab his mic and finish with his second "ANDERSON!" He didn't end up taking the match all the way home, but I have a feeling that Immortal may have an opening for a new acting leader.

Tag Team Championship: Beer Money took on Mexican America. Who had their own flag. And we had to watch that awful dance again. I think I finished the block I was crocheting during this match. I probably should have been paying attention, but I kind of wasn't. Sorry :(

World Heavyweight Championship: Kurt Angle challenged Sting and the Insane Icon took the bait. It was a good match even without the twist ending. Remember how I said Immortal might have a spot open? Looks like Kurt's the man for the position. Hogan came to the ring and brought a chair with him. After snatching the chair, and chasing Hulk out, Angle took the paper ref opportunity to use the chair on Sting and pick up the victory. I am actually looking forward to Thursday.

Whew! And just think... I haven't even talked about Monday Night Raw yet!

Epic Moments in Pro Wrestling, Part One

    We are now six full weeks removed from the Epic Promo Shoot that CM Punk gave on Monday Night Raw (6/27/2011).  The effects of this rant are still being felt in ripples across the seascape of "Sports Entertainment".  It caused an abrupt changing of the guard in the management and direction of the WWE.  It was, for lack of a better word, amazing.  That being said, I'd like to take a look back at other Epic Moments In Pro Wrestling, and I'll start with:

    Austin 3:16

    "You sit there, and you thump your Bible, and you say your prayers, and it didn't get you anywhere... Talk about your Psalms, talk about your John 3:16 ... Austin 3:16 says I just whooped your ass!"

    With these words, The Attitude Era of the WWF(E) was born.  For a very long time, wrestling had been stale, kiddie oriented, and frankly kind of boring.  It seemed that only the most die hard of fans had held on.  We were hoping for a hero.  We were downtrodden and dissapointed by what we were being given.  Clowns, Trashmen, Mantaurs.  It was horrible.  Then, this happened.  Attentions were grasped.  Steve Austin, a very talented but underappreciated wrestler, signed with the WWF(E) and was saddled with a gimmick called The Ringmaster.  He was instructed not to talk, given a manager (the wonderful Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase), and the Million Dollar Championship.  It was a poor fit for the man who would become arguably one of the most popular wrestlers of all time.

    Then came King of the Ring 1996.  A Cinderella story had been built around Jake "The Snake" Roberts, who had become a Born-Again Christian and was recovering from long bouts with drug abuse and alcoholism.  He made it all the way to the finals of the tournament, as did Steve Austin.  Austin defeated Jake, and during the Crowning Ceremony (personal interjection: no wrestler should wear a crown unless his name is Jerry Lawler, and even then it's iffy at best), Steve went completely off script and uttered the sentences I have quoted above.

    A phenomenon was born.

    Austin 3:16 shirts flew off the shelves.  They were EVERYWHERE.  At football games, in hallways of high schools, in the malls, at Spencer's Gifts.  You couldn't spit and not hit someone wearing one.  It was amazing.  Austin continued to deliver week after week, taking on everyone in his path.  He became the representative of the working man when he put himself in the path of one Mr. McMahon (the on-air character of the real life owner of the WWF(E), Vince McMahon.


    One could say that Sports Entertainment was born out of that rivalry.  One could say many things.  However, in all truthfulness, Austin 3:16 was one of the most memorable turning points in the history of this beloved sport of ours.  And we wouldn't have it any other way.

    This is Mehe, signing off for now.

Just a Quick Observation

They're really pushing for the ice cream bars!

Welcome to Girls Watch Wrestling!

As a longtime fan of the wonderful sport of pro wrestling, I've noticed one voice goes very underutilized in the Internet Wrestling Community, that of the female fan.

So, I've decided to start a blog.

Sometimes it'll be a straight review of the previous nights wrestling offerings, sometimes it'll be a rant on what I feel is right or wrong in the industry, and sometimes it might just be a complete girlish droolfest of whichever wrestler I find myself most attracted to at that moment.

My main goal is just to have some fun and maybe make my voice heard.